


Two Doors Down

by SuperbBirb



Category: RWBY
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22546393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperbBirb/pseuds/SuperbBirb
Summary: Months after the end of her abusive relationship, Blake Belladonna is trying to put herself back together. Yang Xiao Long is finally returning to college, a year and a half after her accident. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but it just isn't working for either of them.There’s something missing, but as it turns out, that something lives two doors down. College AU, slow burn, angst with a happy ending.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 41
Kudos: 177





	1. June: Depression

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I will try to keep this short, and the ANs for this fic minimal. This fic is different than anything I’ve ever written or published, and is incredibly important to me. 
> 
> This is not just a Bumbleby fic, but also an attempt for me to heal my own trauma. It’s not a self insert exactly, but rather a blending of similar stories, my own and Blake’s, to create one story from the two altered stories. The blending between the two stories has been carefully crafted in a delicate balance so neither story overpowers the other.
> 
> This fic is serious and somewhat dark. I will put trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter, sorted into Active Trigger Warnings (Active TW) and Passive Trigger Warnings (Passive TW). Active trigger warnings are things that actively take place in scenes, or are being described in great detail about an event or person in the past. Passive trigger warnings are things referenced or discussed, that may or may not have happened in the past, or is just a passive topic mentioned in the world around the characters, but not depicted actively in a scene that chapter and are not key elements of the plot for that chapter. Please, take care of yourselves as you read, folks. Your own mental health matters too!
> 
> Thank you for all of your continued support. I hope you enjoy! You can find updates about this fic and a post when I upload on my tumblr, SuperbBirbFics!
> 
> Without further ado, I present to you: Two Doors Down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Active TWs: Depression, suicidal ideation, mental breakdowns, mental illness
> 
> Passive TWs: Abusive relationships, emotional abuse

**_Part 1: Summer_ **

**_1\. June: Depression_ **

Time ticks by, an unstoppable fact of life. 

Blake laid there in bed, staring at the wall. The only noises that filled the room were the hum of the air conditioner unit attached to the ceiling, and the sound of her cat, Gambol, cleaning herself. 

She wasn't really sure how long she'd been laying there. Hours, at the least, but she rarely bothered to check the time when she felt like this. It was a fairly common situation for her at this point in the night, staring at the wall, listening to the air conditioner, and trying not to drown in her thoughts. 

It was a far harder task than it seemed. 

It had been a full six months and some days it felt like it was fresh, like a scab she couldn't stop picking at, even though she knew she should just leave it alone. Let it heal on its own. 

But she'd tried that, for six months, and it hadn't worked. Ignoring it wasn't the solution, but it wasn't exactly like she could, or _should_ , confront the problem. She didn’t even know what she could confront about it in the first place. 

It was just _hard_ . Living was just _hard_ . Getting up in the morning was _hard_. She couldn't remember when she'd last had two full meals in a day. She was barely scraping by with one meal a day lately. Three meals? Forget about it, that hadn't happened since the semester ended, a month and a half ago at this point. 

She had so many responsibilities, so many things she needed to take care of, yet she was just… not capable of doing any of it. Maybe she was capable, but the energy wasn’t there. She had no motivation to do any of it. Instead, she was just going to lie here, stare at the wall, and try not to think about it. 

The hum of the air conditioner came to an end. Blake groaned, rolling over in bed. Staying on the University of Vale’s campus for the summer meant rooms with air conditioner, but it also meant living in the newest dorms, as they were the only traditional style dorms to include it. In an attempt to be more eco-friendly, these new dorms had air conditioners that ran on a motion detector. During the school year, this was totally fine, as the cold New England weather outside meant the air conditioner wasn't used often. But during the summer? Forget about it. Blake woke up in puddles of her own sweat more times than she could count. 

She had hoped rolling over would trigger the air conditioner again, but it hadn't. She kicked her legs up in the air, still under her blanket, trying to get it to turn back on. Still nothing. She sat up, waved her arms around, feeling (and looking) like a fool… but still, nothing. 

Blake let out a long sigh, collapsing back onto the bed and staring up at the massive white beam attached to the ceiling that covered the air conditioning unit. She decided that she was resigned to sleeping in heat tonight, unless it randomly decided that Gambol going to drink water at two in the morning was enough movement, but Blake sitting up in bed and thrashing her arms around wasn't. It had happened more than once so far this summer. If she wasn’t always so depressed, she’d probably find it really funny. Instead, it was just really annoying.

Upon thinking of Gambol, Blake realized she hadn't heard the noise of Gambol cleaning herself for a while. She rolled over to her right, looking out into the room. Gambol, her tiny, all black cat, lay curled up in her small bed on Blake's futon. She was staring at Blake, probably deciding that the arm thrashing was truly the last of Blake's sanity leaving her, as if that hadn’t already happened several months ago. 

"Sorry," Blake said with a sigh. "You probably think I’m crazy, huh?" She let out a small laugh at her own statement. "Pretty sure everyone already knew that one, including me."

Gambol stood up from the bed, leaping onto the storage bin Blake used as a nightstand, and giving a meow before stepping onto the bed, almost as if asking for permission. 

Blake tapped the half of her pillow that was permanently covered in cat hair, letting out a kissy noise. Gambol took this invitation and stepped onto the pillow, pushing her head into Blake's open hand for petting. Blake scratched behind the ears and stroked down most of Gambol's body. It only took a few moments for the purring to begin, as what sounded like a small motor started up on the fur covered half of Blake's pillow. A small smile came to Blake's lips. A dull warmth filled her chest, a positive emotion trying to fight its way through the sludge of feelings inside her. 

"Hi sweetpea," she muttered, as Gambol pushed her head further into Blake's hand. "I love you so much, did you know that?" 

A tear rolled down Blake's cheek. She hadn't even noticed it until it had left her eye. It seemed that her nightly attempt of keeping her emotions down and stopping herself from crying herself to sleep had failed, yet again. "I wish I could tell you how much you've done for me. I wish you knew how much you matter to me."

It was hard. All of it was _so_ hard. Yet, Gambol didn’t care about any of that. Gambol didn’t care how many mental breakdowns Blake had last semester, or this summer. Gambol didn’t care that Blake was still ignoring all of her responsibilities. Gambol didn’t care that Blake was crying instead of sleeping, again. Gambol didn’t care that it was so hard for Blake to care about anything.

Gambol didn’t care about any of that. Gambol still loved Blake, unconditionally, and Gambol was the only thing in Blake’s life that she could genuinely return that sentiment to nowadays.

"I would live for you," Blake whispered into the darkness, allowing the tears to flow as she continued to pet Gambol.

She was quiet for a while after that, simply listening to the purrs of Gambol as she continued to pet her and give her affection. Eventually, Gambol curled up in a ball on the pillow, to which Blake ended the petting session with a few head scratches. She leaned her own head up against Gambol's body, who continued purring away. 

They laid together like that for a few minutes, Blake staring off into the far corner of the room. Gambol's purrs began to slow down until they became soft snores. Blake closed her own eyes, hoping any sense of sleep could come her way. 

The air conditioner, completely unprompted, kicked on. 

Blake let out a scoff, somehow both startled yet unsurprised by just how bad this thing was at motion detecting anything at all. Her eyes remained closed, allowing the soft snores of Gambol and the hum of the air conditioner to lure her into any sleep she could get. 

* * *

Blake’s alarm went off, the loud noise of a bike horn filling the room. She groaned, reaching around for her phone to shut it off. She slid the circle on the screen to “dismiss”, and sat up in bed. 

She blinked twice, stretching her arms up into the air as she sat up. Gambol, who had left Blake’s pillow and returned to her bed on the futon at some point in the night, opened a single eye and stared at Blake.

“Morning, Gambol,” Blake hummed, stretching her back. She let out a long yawn, thinking about collapsing back into bed. She glanced at the clock on her phone. 11:30 A.M. Time to take her meds. 

Blake sighed, grabbing her medication from the storage container next to her bed. She reached down to the ground, fumbling for a moment before picking up a half-full bottle of Sprite. She opened the day of the week of her medication container, pulled out the meds she currently needed, and popped the five pills into her mouth. She spun the bottle open - no hissing. It had gone flat in the night. She dropped her shoulders in defeat, tilting her head back and chugging the rest of the flat soda. 

She dropped the empty bottle into the pile that sat next to her bed. It had been growing steadily all summer, but quite honestly, Blake didn’t have the energy to even walk the bottles down the hallway to the recycling bins. She flopped back onto the bed, picking up her phone and checking her notifications. 

There was a part of her that still expected the messages and phone calls whenever she woke up. A little voice in the back of her head yelled at her for sleeping in this late, _again_ , and she knew _exactly_ who that voice belonged to. 

She shook her head. _He’s gone. He’s been gone for six months. He can’t tell you shit about how late you slept in. He can’t tell you shit about anything ever again._

Control, control, control. Everything was a game of control. It was still hard, getting used to being in control of her own life. There were times where the overwhelming reality of it all would make her panic, or when the fact that her life could head in any direction, not dictated by anyone but herself would send her into a spiral. 

Today would _not_ be one of those days, she told herself. Today was going to be an _okay_ day. Good days were really, really hard to come by. But okay days? Those, those were much more possible.

She looked at the notifications on her phone. A new follower on the Twitter account she had made for Gambol, a message in the work group chat about a shift trade, a notification from the latest mobile game she’d been using to pass the time, and a YouTube video from one of her favorite creators had been uploaded in the middle of the night. 

She clicked the YouTube notification and plopped her head back down on the pillow. She didn’t have any work shifts today till 5pm, so she probably wouldn’t leave her room for anything other than the bathroom until 4pm. 

Blake considered herself lucky when it came to this summer job. Things were pretty relaxed on campus over the summer, and her job usually didn’t involve too much. Being a Resident Assistant, or RA, as everyone on campus called it, during the summer was _much_ easier than during the semester. She’d been doing both for almost a year now, having started in her role last summer. 

There weren’t _too_ many people that stayed here over the summer, and even so, they came and went. A week here, a month there, and the other RAs that stayed the whole summer. There were a couple of academic and sports camps that would come around in July. The counselors for those would also be University of Vale students, but they were only ever here for a few weeks at a time. Since they were constantly chasing kids ranging from ages 7 to 17 around the campus, they were far too busy to interact with the RAs or the students that lived in the summer school dorm building. There were maybe a grand total of 15 coworkers she had on this campus, 15 people who were here all summer. 15 possible friends. 

Yet, she hadn’t really gotten close to a single one of them.

The summer Hall Director, Becky, had admitted concern in their second one-on-one meeting of the summer - Blake was the only summer RA who hadn’t done _any_ of the social outings or really connected with anyone on staff. Blake had managed to brush it off with a number of excuses - she was an introvert and spent most of her time writing in her room, she was keeping up with her friends that were here during the school year, being the only Faunus on staff made it difficult for her to build connections, and a dozen other odd excuses. 

It had worked, to an extent, but they hadn’t exactly _all_ been truthful. Yes, she was an introvert. Yes, she was an author, but she hadn’t written a word in six months other than things for her assignments last semester, and even then, she had struggled to hit minimums and done rather poorly academically. No, she _definitely_ hadn’t been keeping up with her friends. A few of them reached out regularly, like Sun and Ilia, their concern for her still as strong as it was six months ago, but she never really reached out first, and they rarely talked for more than twenty minutes, usually because Blake tended to cut the conversations short. 

The bit about being the only Faunus on staff _was_ true. She was the only Faunus RA who had signed up to work over the summer. Last summer, _he_ had been the only other one. People loved to talk about _him_ , to praise _him_ for all of his work for the summer RA program. It made her stomach churn and her head spin. Whenever they started talking about _him_ at the desk, she’d excuse herself to the bathroom. Hearing _his_ name more than once was enough to send her into a panic attack, so getting away was important.

Some of her coworkers avoided discussing _him_ when she was around. They knew _something_ had happened - they had been so close last summer, they were very rarely seen apart outside of work. Yet, she wouldn’t speak a word about him now. There were rumors, Blake had overheard some of them, but none of them were true. Even some of the Hall Directors had theories, but they were never correct. None of them could ever imagine that the golden child of Residential Life could do things so horrible.

If they’d ever asked, she’d tell them the truth about what _he_ did, but no one ever asked. 

A buzz from her phone snapped her out of her spiraling thoughts, the video forgotten. She looked at the top of the screen, reading the preview of the message for a second before clicking on it. A direct message from one of her co-workers on the app they used to communicate about work.

_Hey Blake! Is there any way we could swap my 1-6pm shift today for your 5-11pm shift? I went home for the weekend, and there’s a massive accident on the highway. I’m stuck in traffic over an hour away still and I don’t think I’ll make it back in time. Please let me know!_

Blake blinked again at the message before typing a response. 

_Yeah, sure, just be sure to email Becky_.

Instantly, a response came through.

_Thanks so much! You’re a lifesaver! I owe you one. I’ll do that now._

Blake pushed the blanket off of her, staring at the ceiling for another few moments before getting up. What was truly the difference to her if her shift was a couple hours earlier? It’s just time, all just time. 

Time ticks by, an unstoppable fact of life.


	2. July: Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for this fic can be found on both Spotify and Youtube:
> 
> Spotify https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2fOOm65TcS2TEl2FXm3hyq or https://tinyurl.com/vtcsbgf 
> 
> YouTube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9fnWv-0MMz9uY3mK7gMALL6BLSCXOiGY or https://tinyurl.com/v8lgekx 
> 
> Active TWs: Mental illness, PTSD, breakdowns
> 
> Passive TWs: Car accidents, medical trauma

**_2\. July: Denial_ **

“What bothers you the most about the accident?”

“The pity,” Yang answered, without a moment’s hesitation.

* * *

_ Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! _

Yang groaned, rolling over on her side.

_ Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep!  _

She fumbled with her right hand to turn off the goddamn-

_ Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep!  _

_ Oh _ .

Yang’s eyes shot open, darting to the stump on her right arm.  _ Again _ .

_ Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! _

She grumbled, reaching over and grabbing her phone with her left hand, turning off the alarm as quickly as she could. She’d probably woken up half the house by now. These walls weren’t exactly thick. Well... she probably would have, if it wasn’t 10am, and everyone wasn’t already up.

Whatever. It was time for meds. 

Yang kicked her legs up over the edge of the bed, pushing herself up with her left arm. It was a skill she had acquired with time, and had nearly perfected now. She reached over to her bedside table, placing the two bottles of meds between her knees. She opened them one by one, pushing down on the tops and turning. She dug in with her pinky, pulling out one of each med from the bottles. Using her pinky, she pulled them into her palm, holding the first one there with her other fingers while she grabbed the other. She popped the two pills into her mouth, before reaching over and grabbing her water bottle. She pushed up on the top, opening the lid and revealing the straw. She sucked down some water, swallowing the meds. 

After recapping the bottles, and putting everything back on her nightstand, Yang flopped back onto the bed. She reached over to grab her phone, but was interrupted by a scratching at the closed door to her bedroom, followed by a whimper. 

“Zwei,” Yang mumbled with a small smile. She pulled herself back out of bed again, opening the door for the Corgi, who entered the room with a pep in his step and a wagging tail.

Yang returned to her bed, which Zwei jumped into easily. He plopped down on her chest the moment she laid back down. 

“You’re such a good boy,” Yang said with a smile, scratching the top of his head. “You always know when I need some cuddles.”

A small “ _ Boof _ !” and a more excited tail wag made Yang’s smile spread even wider. 

The pure joy that Zwei brought Yang was unfortunately rather brief. Not long after Zwei came into Yang’s room, there was a soft knock on her open door. 

Yang looked up, seeing her mom, Summer Rose, standing in the doorway. 

“Good morning,” Summer said with a warm smile. 

“Mornin’,” Yang replied, trying not to let the smile falter from her face. She loved her mother dearly, but it was always hard to pretend that seeing Summer first thing in the morning made her happy nowadays, as a morning greeting from Summer meant therapy. 

“You have a therapy appointment in an hour and a half,” Summer said. “Pop has some breakfast cooking in the kitchen, and you should eat something before you go.”

“I’m not really hungry,” Yang replied, looking back down at Zwei.

“Yang…”

Yang did her best to not raise her eyes again, as she knew the moment she did, she would be met with the signature Rose Puppy Dog Eyes™, and any chance of getting away from breakfast would be a lost cause.

“Yang…” Summer repeated. “I’d really appreciate it if you joined us all for breakfast. It’s been a while since you did.” 

“I did last week, before my last therapy appointment,” Yang replied, still looking down at Zwei, who was still enjoying his ear rubs.

Summer sighed, entering the room. Yang looked up, just to see Summer pick Zwei up from Yang’s torso. “Come on,” Summer said, matter of factly. “I want you to have breakfast with us, please?”

There they were, the Rose Puppy Dog Eyes™. It was bad enough that Yang’s little sister, Ruby, could guilt her into  _ anything _ with them, but when their mom resorted to it… Well, Yang knew there wasn’t any getting out of this. 

Yang sighed, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Summer smiled gently, leaning down and planting a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “Great! See you down there!” She pulled a squirming Zwei onto her shoulder as she headed out of the room, Zwei watching Yang as he was carried away from his morning cuddles. 

Yang slipped her feet into the slippers that sat next to her bed. She slipped out of her bedroom, doing her best to avoid the mirror that hung on the back of her door.

She could hear the commotion from the kitchen the moment she stepped out of her room. She let out a long sigh, preparing herself to head down the stairs and greet the rest of her family.

* * *

The kitchen was always lively in the mornings. That tended to happen when you had six people living under one roof. The family wasn’t conventional, not by any means, even down to the way they identified themselves. 

It was impossible to use one last name to describe the household. There were three different last names, all purposeful in their separation and distinction. Xiao Long, Rose, and Branwen. Before the kids had been born, the adults had decided they needed something to call themselves - a quad of polyamorous adults with three different last names wasn’t something they’d ever encountered in their lives, so they didn’t really have anything to base it off of. They came up with the first acronym based on their first names - STRQ, pronounced Stark - shortly before the only  _ legal _ marriage in the group, the marriage of Taiyang and Summer. Once Yang was born, they expanded the name of the STRQ family to the STRQY family, pronounced Starky. Ruby was another easy addition, not necessarily changing the pronunciation, just adding an extra R to the acronym, creating the final form of the STRRQY family. 

The liveliness of the kitchen was nothing new to Yang. It had been that way her entire life - every morning, either Pop or Ma making breakfast, while the other prepped everyone’s lunches for school. Mom and Dad ran around, getting ready for their days too, and everyone met in the kitchen for breakfast before heading off to school. 

And everyone means  _ everyone _ , except for Raven on some days. The entire family worked within the local school system. Summer, who both Yang and Ruby referred to as Mom, was a school psychologist, primarily based in the local high school, but sometimes did work at some of the elementary schools and the middle school as well, whenever and wherever she was needed. Tai, called Dad by the girls, taught physical education at the elementary school Yang and Ruby had gone to as kids, as well as owning the only karate studio in Patch. Qrow, the girls’ Pop, taught math at the middle school, and Raven, known as Ma to the girls, was a part-time substitute who found herself bouncing around the school district, wherever she was needed. 

Lively mornings were the norm for the STRRQY family, which is why Yang felt her heart sink into her chest every time she entered the kitchen after the accident.

Silence. Very sudden, uncomfortable silence. 

“Morning,” Yang mumbled, sliding down into a seat at the table. 

“Good morning!” Ruby replied cheerfully, a large smile on her face. 

Yang gave a gentle smile back as the liveliness resumed. 

Despite the smile, she hated it. She really did. Being treated like a glass cannon, like she was ready to snap at any moment. It made her feel like it was more likely to happen, but not for the reasons her family thought. 

“What is everyone up to today?” Ruby asked as Qrow placed a large plate of bacon on the table, next to the large pile of eggs and toast on two other plates on the table. Being the season of summer, the schedules of the STRRQY family were pretty much all over the place. It wasn’t uncommon to run through everyone’s schedules at breakfast, given that everyone  _ had _ schedules to begin with, which wasn’t always the case during the summer.

“I’ve got a birthday party down at the studio in the afternoon, so I’ll be prepping for that,” Tai answered, taking some of the bacon and adding it to his plate. 

“Not much today, just going to get some reading done,” Raven replied, placing the frying pan from the bacon in the sink. 

“I’ve got some math department meetings down at the school,” Qrow replied, taking his seat at the table. 

“Therapy,” Yang replied dryly, grabbing a piece of toast from the pile. 

“Just taking Yang to therapy!” Summer replied cheerfully, pushing some eggs onto her plate. 

“Do you want help with getting anything else, Yang?” Tai asked, noticing the single piece of toast on Yang’s plate. 

“I’m good, not that hungry,” she replied, spraying a bit of spray butter onto the piece of toast before eating it. 

STRQ exchanged brief looks around the table, Yang lowering her eyes to avoid eye contact.

“Are you sure?” Tai asked.

“I’m sure,” she snapped back, a little more fiercely than she intended to. “Sorry,” she muttered afterwards, continuing to stare down at her plate. 

The silence felt like it went on for years, but it was only a few more seconds before Raven piped up. “What about you, Ruby, what are you up to today?”

Ruby shrugged. “Don’t know. Penny’s out of town, visiting her mom, and Weiss is stuck on that trip with her father… Maybe I’ll join Dad in running the birthday party, if he’ll let me?” Silver eyes darted over to Tai.

Tai smiled and nodded. “I could always use an extra set of hands. The kid’s turning six, so I’m expecting a wild time.”

“Oh, that sounds like  _ so  _ much fun!” Ruby exclaimed, a huge smile on her face. “I love the younger parties!”

“That makes one of us,” Tai laughed, shaking his head. 

“Don’t you teach elementary school kids every day during the year?” Raven asked with a small smirk.

“Oh hush, Rae. We  _ all  _ know that kids at school are a lot easier to handle than a group of sugared up kids at a birthday party.” 

Yang began to tune out the conversation surrounding her, letting the rest of the family carry on with the bickering between Tai and Raven. She took another slow bite of toast, knowing very well that it was in her best interest to extend the food for as long as possible, at least until the others were closer to done. 

She loved her family, she really, really did. It was just hard some days, okay,  _ most _ days, to feel normal in this house again.

Normalcy wasn’t much of a thing anymore in any part of her life, thinking about it. A very loud part of her brain regularly worried that “normal” would never again really be a thing for Yang. 

* * *

“Can you elaborate further on what you mean by ‘the pity’?” Yang’s therapist asked, pen resting on notepad.

“They all treat me like I’m going to break at any moment. They feel bad. I see it in their eyes, I hear it in their voices. Every day, day in and out,” Yang replied. 

“And by they, you mean your family?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Yang replied, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Her old therapist had left the state a few weeks ago, but her parents insisted she continue to go to a new therapist at the same practice. Despite this new therapist having access to all of the notes from the old one, she felt like she was re-explaining herself constantly. She’d barely interacted with anyone other than her family since the accident, over a year and a half ago. Of  _ course _ she meant her family. Who else did she ever talk with?

“Have you tried bringing it up to them? The pity?”

Yang shook her head. “No. They wouldn’t take it well.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because I know them.”

The therapist blinked. “Could you elaborate?”

“My Ma is really mentally ill too,” Yang replied, bouncing her knee. “Whenever she has an episode, it’s all about the pity. It works for her. But it doesn’t work for me. And they don’t get that.”

“It might help if you communicated that to them. It’s possible they didn’t realize that what they’re doing is hurting yo-”

“It’s been a year and a half,” Yang interrupted, her eyes narrowing. “They still treat me like they did the day I woke up. I don’t think they’re going to change. My Pop still can’t look at my stump. He avoids it at all costs. If he sees it, he starts to cry. It’s been  _ over a year and a half _ . I’m  _ tired _ . I’m tired of the pity, I’m tired of the therapy. I’m tired of acting like I need to try to be fine around them because I’m  _ not _ , but they just don’t  _ get _ that. And obviously, neither do you.”

* * *

“How was it?” Summer asked as Yang got into the car.

“It was fine,” Yang lied through gritted teeth. She went to cross her arms, only to realize yet  _ again _ that it wasn’t a thing she could do anymore, letting her singular arm fall to her lap. 

Summer raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Yang snapped. “Can we  _ please _ just go home?”

“Okay,” Summer replied softly, starting up the car.

Halfway through the ride home, Yang finally spoke up. “I’m not going back there again.”

“Why?” Summer asked, a hint of fear in her voice, as her eyes flicking between the road and Yang sitting next to her in the passenger seat. 

“I can’t stand that therapist. He’s so condescending. He treats me like I’m a child.”

“Maybe we could try getting you a different therapist there-”

“ _ No _ ,” Yang snapped again. “I’m tired of it. I’m not explaining everything all over again so they can tell me the same things all over again. I’m  _ fine _ . I don’t need therapy.”

Summer fell quiet, thinking carefully about her next words. “I can’t force you to go. I know that, but I think it would be for the best if you did.”

Yang didn’t reply, her eyes closed. She was breathing heavily, trying to keep herself under control. “I don’t want to fight about this, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore right now.”

Summer didn’t reply with anything other than a nod. 

* * *

Raven was curled up on the massive sectional couch in the living room, enjoying the quiet of the house with her book. She picked up her tea that sat on the table next to her, and took a long sip before flipping to the next page. It was somewhat rare to have moments like these, especially with Yang being home all the time now too, although most of the time she just stayed in her room. Yang  _ did _ have a habit of blasting music, which had been something she had done well before the accident, so the house was rarely this quiet, even now. 

Just after she flipped the page, the front door burst open, and in came Yang, hiding her face in her hair. 

“How was therapy?” Raven asked, glancing up from her book. 

“ _ Terrible _ ,” Yang snapped back, making a beeline for the stairs before any other questions could be asked.

Summer entered the house, a defeated look on her face. Raven opened her mouth to ask Summer what had happened, but loud rock music coming from upstairs cut her off. 

“Let her be,” Summer said in a quieter tone, closing the front door gently behind her. “She’s had a rough day.”

“What happened?” Raven asked, putting her book down as Summer approached her.

Summer sat down, curling herself into Raven’s side. “I don’t know. She didn’t really explain. She doesn’t want to go back to therapy anymore.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“I don’t know. She was saying she hates her new therapist, and when I asked for more details, she got really aggressive and then suddenly she didn’t want to fight. She keeps insisting she’s okay…” Summer paused for a moment, glancing up towards the upper floor, where Yang was blasting loud music in her room. “...but she’s not. We can’t force her to go if she doesn’t want to.”

Raven sighed, wrapping her arms around Summer and pulling her closer. “She hasn’t wanted to go for a long time, but she went anyways. I wonder what changed.”

“I don’t know,” Summer repeated. “Do you really think she’s ready to go back to UV in the Fall?”

“Honestly? No. But like you said, we can’t stop her. She’s going to do what she wants to do.”

Summer was quiet for a few moments. “Maybe the change of scenery will be good for her. Maybe not being in Patch for a while will help.”

Raven smiled at her partner, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Always the optimist.”

“Well,  _ someone _ in this family has to be,” Summer replied without missing a beat, a small smile of her own forming on her face at the mention of the old inside joke that the two women shared. She snuggled in closer to Raven, allowing the two of them to share this moment together, and try their best not to think too hard about the music coming from upstairs.

* * *

The moment Yang entered her room, she slammed the door shut and locked it. She fiddled with her phone, sending whatever playlist popped up first on Spotify to her bluetooth speaker and turning it as loud as it could go. Hard rock. It was perfect for what she needed to do.

As soon as the music started, she threw herself onto her bed and started sobbing into her pillow.

She felt  _ horrible _ . She’d yelled at Summer, who had never so much as raised her voice at either her or Ruby in their entire lives. She’d ignored Raven, and she  _ knew _ the two of them were downstairs talking about her right now. 

She couldn’t face them right now though. She stood by the point of what she said, how she felt. She couldn’t go back to that therapist anymore. She didn’t want to go to any therapy anymore. Everyone just wanted to talk and talk and talk and she just  _ didn’t _ . She just wanted to grieve. She just wanted to be alone, and grieve the fact that her life would never be the way it used to be.

Yang rolled over onto her side, staring at the medication bottles on her nightstand. She grabbed them, and threw them across the room in the general direction of her trash can, although both missed, as she still wasn’t that great at throwing with her left arm. She didn’t feel like getting up to get them or to actually put them in the trash. She buried her head in her pillow again, letting the sobs resume.

She was tired of pills. She was tired of appointments. She was tired of pity. She was tired of stares. She was tired of questions. She was tired of seeing her reflection in the mirror. She was tired of feeling both everything at once and nothing at all.

She was just  _ tired _ . 


	3. Mid August: Avoidance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Active TWs: Depression, abusive relationships, emotional abuse
> 
> Passive TWs: Sexual assault, stalking, intimate partner violence, active shooter training, suicide prevention

**_3\. Mid August: Avoidance_ **

If there was one thing Blake really hated about her job, it was the training.

Just before every semester, and at the start of the summer, Blake was forced to sit through a week and a half’s worth of training sessions. Some of them were changed and updated, but other aspects of them were repeated  _ every time _ . It was miserable, especially with the unbearable mid-August heat and the massive lecture halls filled with the three hundred RAs who were all equally sweaty. It didn’t matter that she literally hadn’t stopped being an RA for one single day in over a year straight now - she still had to attend every session of training.

There were  _ some  _ positives. Sun and Ilia were back, and even though Blake was still on the quieter side, she appreciated their company. Being around other Faunus again, especially Faunus she could trust, was a nice change from being the odd one out all summer. Plus, the start of the new semester meant a chance to start fresh, to give herself a better year than the last. 

Yet, despite her best intentions and hopes, Blake was still  _ miserable _ . 

* * *

The lecture hall was packed to the brim with the three hundred RAs that made up the largest student workforce at the University of Vale. It was  _ far _ too early in Blake’s opinion, although most people around her seemed rather lively for this 9:30am start to the day. 

Okay, maybe 9:30 in the morning wasn’t  _ that _ early, but it was when you hadn’t  _ really _ had any sort of sleeping schedule for… well, a rather long time, to say the least. 

The chatter and buzzing of RAs in the room was nothing more than background noise to Blake. Her entire body was slumped in her seat, even her ears drooping slightly in her exhaustion. Sun sat on one side of her, Ilia on her other. Sun’s tail was wrapped around his waist, using it to flick through his training manual while he skimmed the day’s agenda lazily. 

“You doing okay?” Ilia asked, nudging Blake slightly.

“Hmm?” Blake hummed, looking up at her friend in confusion. She had been zeroing on watching Sun’s tail flick back and forth for a while, her mind rather blank.

“I asked if you’re doing okay,” Ilia repeated.

“Oh, yeah. Just tired,” Blake replied with a shrug.

Ilia raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been tired since training started.”

Blake straightened her posture, trying to make herself seem at least a  _ bit _ more awake. “Yeah, well, I just haven’t really been used to sleeping in the heat for a while. You  _ know  _ how hot those dorm rooms get, especially this time of the year.”

Ilia watched Blake with careful eyes for a few more moments before deciding that the excuse would have to be enough for now. She  _ knew _ there was more going on, but this wasn’t the place for it.

_ Tap tap. _ “One two, one two. Can you all hear me?”

Nor was it the time, as the entire room fell silent as the head of training tapped on the microphone at the front of the lecture hall. There were a few thumbs up from the back rows, to which the head of training nodded.

“Alright! Welcome to day three of training everybody! Let’s get excited!”

The hall exploded into the cheers of, in Blake’s opinion,  _ far _ too enthusiastic RAs. She gave a half-hearted “Woo,” before slumping back into her seat again. 

As the head of training rambled on about the agenda for the day, Blake allowed her mind to wander. She wondered how Gambol was doing. She was probably sleeping right now, knowing her. Curled up in a tiny ball on Blake’s pillow, giving tiny snores. The thought made Blake smile a bit. She couldn’t wait to get back home to Gambol. The cuddles and purrs of her cat were  _ far _ more interesting to her than…

“...and lastly, we’ll be having a presentation from our friends over at the Title IX office on your role in handling cases of intimate partner violence, stalking, and sexual assault.”

Blake’s ears fell flat against her skull. Of  _ course _ that would be today. 

Her eyes flicked to her hall director, who sat at the end of the row. There was  _ no _ way she was going to be able to sit through that presentation. She’d be allowed to excuse herself, for sure, but she’d have to explain things to him, as he was new to both the school and the area that Blake lived and worked in. 

Maybe it  _ would  _ have been in her best interest to take a look at the schedule  _ before _ the day began, but there was no changing that now. 

“Blake?” Sun whispered, giving her a little nudge with his tail. “Did you hear that?”

“About the last presentation?” she whispered back.

“Yeah.”

“Yes. I… gotta tell Drew.” Her eyes flickered back to the hall director.

“Do you want some moral support?” Sun asked. “I can go with you if you want.”

“Maybe. I don’t know yet.”

Sun gave a little nod. “Just let me know.”

They both looked up, suddenly realizing that the head of training had finished her opening speech, and that people were starting to get up to head into the morning breakout sessions. 

“Where are we going first? I zoned out a bit there,” Blake asked.

“Uh, active shooter training,” Ilia said, reading off the agenda in front of her. “Johnson Hall 402.”

“Great,” Blake mumbled, grabbing her bag from underneath her chair and standing up. “We love when they shove all of the emotionally heavy stuff into one day.”

“Would it really be RA training if they didn’t?” Sun joked, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and giving a mischievous smile. 

Ilia let out a laugh. “You aren’t wrong there,” she replied, joining the crowd of people making their way out of the lecture hall, Sun and Blake not far behind.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, Blake was emotionally exhausted.

Well, it wasn’t like she’d had a ton of emotional energy to begin with, or any energy at all, for that matter. Still, listening to an active shooter training for the fifth time now, immediately followed by suicide prevention training, hadn’t helped a single bit. In fact, it made the conversation that loomed ahead of her all the more difficult. 

“Blake,” Sun said in a hushed tone as he sat down next to her at the long dining hall table reserved for the 20 person staff she worked on, herself included. “The next session…”

“I know,” she replied softly, poking at her ketchup with a fry. “I…” 

“You know it’s going to be  _ way _ worse if you go.”

“I know,” Blake replied, sighing. She put the fry down, not even bothering to eat it.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sun asked. 

She paused for a moment, thinking. “No. I need to do this by myself.”

“Blake…” Sun muttered, shaking his head. “You don’t have to do anything alone. We’re here to  _ help _ you when you need it.” He pointed directly across the table with his tail, where Ilia was sitting, eating her lunch as she listened to the hushed conversation between her two friends. 

“I  _ know _ ,” Blake hissed back. “I need to do this alone, for my own sake.” She stood up, looking down the table, not noticing the concerned look that Sun and Ilia shared.

Drew hadn’t sat down just yet. Just beyond the table, he was pumping mustard onto his burger at the condiment stand on the edge of the dining hall. Blake turned on her heel, making a beeline for him.

_ I can’t go to the session this afternoon. I just got out of a- I just dealt with a- I can’t relive my -  _

“Hey Drew, can I talk to you for a second?” Blake asked, the words blurting out of her mouth the moment she approached him. She panicked for a moment internally. She couldn’t even form a thought to explain herself, let alone speak it out loud.

Drew turned around, and smiled at Blake standing there. “Sure!”

“Can we go somewhere a little more private?” Blake asked, glancing towards the small hallway that led to the bathrooms. 

Drew followed her line of sight, nodding once he realized what she meant. “Just let me put this plate down, ‘kay?”

Blake nodded, and walked over to the hallway. A few moments later, Drew approached her again.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I can’t do the session this afternoon. I…” she took in a deep breath. “I…” 

Drew held up a hand, stopping here there. “That’s fine, Blake. Personal reasons?”

Blake nodded, feeling her eyes start to water.  _ Not now, ugh _ .

“You don’t have to explain yourself in detail if you don’t want to, especially not here and now. You can head back to the dorm after lunch. All I ask is that you come check in with me in my office after dinner tonight, okay?”

Blake nodded again, and Drew offered a small, caring smile. “Take your time before coming back to the table,” he said, nodding towards the bathrooms before heading back towards the table himself.

She took the cue, heading into the women’s bathroom. It was empty, much to her relief. She entered a stall, and the moment the door locked behind her, she dropped her head into her hands and let the tears begin to fall.

She couldn’t lie. She was worried - no,  _ terrified _ , that she wasn’t going to be able to hold it together this semester. That the fresh restart she had been convincing herself she would have this semester was never going to actually happen. 

It was a real fear. She couldn’t repeat last semester, she just couldn’t. Academically, she’d be screwed. Emotionally, she might actually hit her  _ real _ breaking point, which quite frankly, it was a goddamn miracle that it hadn’t happened yet. 

It was a thought that slipped into her brain regularly. What if she was never really going to get over  _ him _ ? What if she wasn’t able to break out of this depressive episode? Was it even an  _ episode _ at this point if it had gone on for eight months straight? What if the summer hadn’t really been the refreshing break she had been telling herself it was?

_ No, no, no. Blake, you stop that right now. _

Blake pulled her head up, grabbing some toilet paper to wipe at her eyes. She was  _ not _ going to spiral like this. Not here, not now, not in this random bathroom stall in the dining hall. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, seeing a message from Sun.

_ S : U ok? _

Blake took a deep breath, tapping on the message.

_ B : Yeah, just had to use the bathroom. Be back in a minute _ .

Another deep breath.

Just because she couldn’t handle sitting through training on  _ that _ stuff right now didn’t mean she wasn’t doing better. Last semester, hell, she probably wouldn’t have even been able to read the words on the agenda without having a panic attack. 

Progress takes  _ time _ . She just had to remember that. 

Breathe in, breathe out. Wipe away the tears again. Breathe in, breathe out.

It was time to head back out to lunch. All she had to do was eat lunch, keep up an okay face, maybe even engage in conversation for a bit, and then she got to go back to her dorm and spend the rest of the afternoon with Gambol.

The thought of spending the afternoon curled up with Gambol brought a small smile to Blake’s face. 

Now that, that was a goal she could work towards.

* * *

The moment Blake put her keys into the lock on the door, she heard the familiar jingle of Gambol’s collar. A smile on her face, she pushed the door open to find the black cat trotting towards the door, chirping happily at the sight of Blake.

Closing the door behind her and sliding her bag off to the side, Blake crouched down on the ground, getting all kinds of love in the form of headbutts, chirps, and purrs from Gambol.

“I’ve only been away for a few hours, silly,” Blake told her cat, who was acting as if she’d been away for a week.

“Oh, I love you too,” Blake replied to another chirp with a smile. She scooped up the cat, giving her a smooch on her head before standing up and walking over to the bed. 

Gambol immediately began trotting up and down the length of the bed, stopping occasionally to headbutt her way into Blake’s hand, or to keep Blake petting one spot instead of letting her hand run down the length of the cat’s body. 

Blake continued the petting session for a long while, devoting all of her attention to Gambol. It was so nice, the escape that Gambol brought her. At least for now, nothing else in this world mattered but this black cat who loved nothing more than a nice scratch between the ears and some undivided attention. 

After an unknown amount of time, Blake’s phone buzzed again. She pulled it out of her pocket, checking the text.

_ Ilia : You made the right choice on skipping this, they’ve got someone new presenting and it’s going so bad I think she might get fired... _

Blake blinked twice at the screen, before rapidly typing a reply.

_ B : Wait, what? _

_ I : I won’t go into too many details, cause I know you skipped for a reason, but she keeps questioning the validity of the Me Too Movement in a  _ **_really_ ** _ bad way _

_ B : Y I K E S _

_ I : Sun and I just keep looking at each other because by god this is a shitshow _

_ B : Good fucking luck, it sounds like you need it _

_ I : Thanks _

_ I : We’ll be seeing you at dinner, right? _

_ B : Yep, I’ll be there probably before y’all get back. I’ll get our staff a good table _

_ I : Awesome, see you then _

Blake locked her phone, tossing it to the side. She sighed, looking at Gambol.

“Why are people so awful?” she asked her cat, resuming the petting session, which Gambol was  _ quite _ happy about. “Why can’t people just relax and just respect each other?”

Another chirp from Gambol caused Blake to give a small laugh.

“Me too, Gambol, me too.”

* * *

Blake had spent the rest of the afternoon petting Gambol and taking a short nap together. Gambol had curled up on Blake’s chest, the two of them purring in sync. Once the alarm she had set on her phone went off, she dragged herself out of her dorm room and back out to the dining hall for dinner. 

One of the most annoying things about training, in Blake’s opinion, were the meals. They were required to attend every meal - their hall directors took  _ attendance _ . The only way of getting out of it was illness or injury - and even then, they would have to be bedridden to really get out of it. 

To make matters worse, the  _ only _ dining hall they were allowed to go to during training was arguably the worst dining hall on campus. There were a total of eight dining halls on campus, and they were all pretty similar,  _ except  _ for the one that was open during training.

This dining hall was the only non-buffet style dining hall. Instead of the students filling the plates themselves, they had to choose from three or four pre-selected meals, which ranged from pretty decent to just straight up  _ bad _ . The dining hall food at University of Vale really wasn’t that bad in general, at least in Blake’s opinion, but if she had a choice, she’d  _ never _ go to this one. The quality of the food entirely depended on what chefs were working in that dining hall that day. They tried to do some international dishes, and other different things than other dining halls, but some chefs were  _ far _ worse at making those dishes than others. In addition to the food quality varying wildly, there were almost no options available for those with dietary restrictions. The other dining halls were pretty good at offering a variety of food and dietary options, but certainly not this one.

And yet, for some reason, the dining department and reslife decided that this particular dining hall would be the only one open during RA training  _ every _ semester. 

By the time she got there, she expected at least  _ some _ other RAs to be here already, but the place was practically empty. She figured the last session was running over time a bit, and perhaps they were just getting out. 

Blake handed her meal card to the dining hall employee sitting by the door. He swiped it, handing it back to her as she thanked him and headed on through. She grabbed a cup and a plate from the sandwich bar, filled up the cup with water, and used the empty plate to help her claim enough of one of the long tables that her staff would need. She sat down at the end, sipping on her cup of water, staring out the window and waiting for the inevitable flow of RAs to head towards the dining hall. 

After about ten minutes, Blake finally spotted the flow of people headed towards the building. Eventually, the dining hall began to fill with the three hundred RAs, all hungry and buzzing with a strange energy. 

Ilia placed her bag down across from Blake. “Did you already eat?” she asked.

Blake shook her head. “I was waiting for everyone to get here so no one took the table.”

Ilia bobbed her head towards the lines that were beginning to form for food. “Shall we?”

Blake stood up, looking around. “Where’s Sun?”

“Drew wanted him to hang back and chat about something. He’ll be here soon,” Ilia explained.

Blake shrugged, leaving her empty cup at her seat to keep it claimed. “Did the presentation get any better after you texted me?”

Ilia shook her head. “Two of the RAs got in a heated argument with the presenter. At first the HDs tried to calm it down… but then the presenter said something  _ really  _ awful I don’t wish to repeat, and then it quickly became a full blown argument. Some people walked out early. We ended up needing debriefing afterwards, which is why everyone was late.”

“Like, a big group debriefing, or did you break up into the staff groups?”

“Staff groups.”

Blake nodded, internally extremely grateful that she had opted out of this session. Sitting through the presentation with 300 other RAs was bad enough, even with the ability to blend into the crowd. Debriefing with only her 19 coworkers on her staff, however? That would have been detrimental for her sanity and her dignity. 

“Enough of that,” Ilia said, sensing something off with Blake. “How was your afternoon?”

“Good,” Blake replied with a shrug. “Cuddled with Gambol. Took a nap.”

Ilia gave a small smile. “Sounds like a great afternoon to me!”

“Yeah,” Blake replied absently, looking ahead towards the line. It was moving steadily. “What dish are we even in line for?”

“Chicken parm! One of the only good dishes they’ve had all training, honestly.”

“Can’t say you’re wrong there.” 

Blake continued to stare further down the line, watching as people slowly made their way up to grab a plate of chicken parm and pasta. She didn’t notice the way Ilia’s face fell slightly at the way Blake continued to mask her emotions. She also didn’t notice Ilia pull out her phone and send a text at the same moment she received one. 

_ I : You did the right thing. It’s worse than we thought. _

_ S : Just got done talking with Drew. He’s gonna talk to her after dinner.  _

_ S : Really? Worse? How so? _

_ I : You’ll see when you get here. It’s bad. _

_ S : Alright, see you soon.  _

* * *

Dinner carried on without much event. Sun took the spot next to Ilia once he arrived, and maintained an animated conversation with Ilia about his plans for his first bulletin board throughout the meal. Both tried to get Blake more involved in the conversation, but she continually put in minimal effort while taking tiny bites of her food. It  _ was _ actually good for once, she just wasn’t really that hungry. 

As the trio of Faunus finished their meals, Drew kept a close eye on them. As soon as he saw Blake start to get up, he stood up from his end of the table and made his way towards her. He tapped her on the shoulder, pulling her aside as she was making her way towards the dish return.

“Hey Blake, can you swing by my office in twenty minutes or so?” he asked.

“Sure,” Blake replied simply. She’d been expecting that. Drew  _ did _ tell her this when she requested to skip the afternoon session, after all. It wouldn’t be a long meeting, but she was likely going to have to explain herself to an extent. If not details, at the very least, explaining that she was still recovering from recent trauma. 

That’s all it was going to be, she kept telling herself, but it was hard to silence the knot forming in her stomach. 

* * *

Drew’s office was located in the lobby of the building they all lived and worked in, Beacon Hall. It was one building, divided up by two towers, North and South. The lobby that connected them held a number of amenities - a large social lounge, a game room, the laundry room, the mailroom, and the reslife office for the area. Despite the fact that it was truly only one building, since it had two towers, it was considered an “area” of campus by reslife’s standards. 

Blake, Ilia, and Sun all resided in the South tower, on floors one, two, and three, respectively. Each floor was co-ed, a square of double rooms with two bathrooms in the middle, as well as the elevators, and a study lounge on the Eastern side of the building that sat between the only two singles on the floor - one the RA dorm, and the other typically reserved for residents who had medical accommodations for a single dorm. All of the other sides of the square had smaller divides, with a trash room in the middle of the Western side, and stairwells in the middle of the North and South sides. 

The lobby, considered to be floor “0” in all of the floor plans, was primarily constructed around the idea of being a space for socializing and community activity, whereas the floors were meant to be more peaceful, and allow for studying and sleeping. Since the residents that lived in Beacon Hall were primarily first and second year students, that almost  _ never _ happened as planned. The lobby still served its purpose, although it typically was for more formal, reslife events and activities than for impromptu group hangouts from residents.

The reslife office consisted of two areas - a lounge-like portion of the office where the RAs hung out while on duty and held their staff meetings, and the smaller, actual office of the Hall Director. The HD office was locked, as to be expected, as Drew was still wrapping up dinner. Blake waited patiently in the RA lounge, browsing social media mindlessly on her phone. 

After what felt like both forever and no time at all, Blake finally looked up to see Drew entering the RA lounge. He gave Blake a small smile as she stood up, following him as he unlocked the door to his office. 

“Come in, feel free to take a comfy chair!” Drew said, gesturing to the two armchairs that sat off to the side of the office, as opposed to the formality of the desk. 

Blake gave a small smile. This was her first time meeting one-on-one with Drew. His office was very homey, already decorated with assorted knick-knacks. Last year, their hall director was… well, she was fired before her first year at the University of Vale was even up, and Blake had despised her from the moment she met her. That was in the past though, said and done, and with everything else that had happened last year, the old hall director had been one of the last people on Blake’s mind.

She took a spot in one of the armchairs, sitting cross-legged in-between the arms. 

“So,” Drew began, as he sat down, “you don’t have to tell me details of anything unless you want to, and, as you know, I  _ am _ a mandated reporter, so if there is anything active going on, I will have to report it.”

“Nothing active,” Blake replied, shaking her head. 

Drew nodded. “Okay. If you don’t want to explain yourself at all, you don’t have to, but I just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay.”

Blake returned with her own nod. “Yeah, I’m okay. I… Last year, I was in a very… abusive relationship. I’ve been out of it since January, but sitting through a presentation like that… it was still too soon.”

“That’s understandable.” Drew crossed one of his legs, taking a deep breath. “I do have something else I wanted to talk about with you in private.”

Blake raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

“I’ll admit, I don’t know you very well yet, and I don’t have anything to really compare this to, so I’m just going off of what was told to me. Additionally, I was given permission to tell you who told me this.”

“Who told you what?”

“Sun came to me earlier today. He told me that he and Ilia have been very concerned about you.”

Blake blinked. “Concerned?”

Drew nodded. “I’ve been told you went through something traumatic last semester, which you also just told me about yourself, assuming they’re the same thing. Sun told me that you were really struggling last semester, but you were convinced the summer is what you needed for a fresh restart. Instead, Sun tells me that you seem worse than you did last spring, and Ilia backed up that opinion.”

Blake took a moment, processing what she had just been told. “Sun… and Ilia.. are concerned about me?”

Drew gave another nod. “I wanted to check in and see if you needed anything or felt the same way. Healing from trauma isn’t an easy process, trust me, I know it very well. I wanted to make sure that you knew I’m available as a resource to you.”

“Yes, I knew that,” Blake replied, perhaps a bit  _ too _ fast. “I’m doing fine,” she added, straightening her back. “Things are different this semester, yeah, but I’m doing fine.”

Drew frowned slightly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said instantly, extending out her legs to sit normally in the chair. “I’m sure I’m fine.”

“Okay. If you ever want to talk about anything, my door is always open. Otherwise, you’re free to go.”

“Thank you,” she replied, standing up instantly.

“Anytime,” Drew replied, watching with careful eyes as she walked out of the office perhaps a bit  _ too  _ quickly. He waited until he heard the sound of the door to the RA lounge close before standing up from his chair.

He let out a long sigh, making his way over to his desk and logging into his computer. He opened a document on his desktop, revealing a list of all of his RAs with some information about each of them he had gathered from a form at the beginning of training. Names, pronouns, floors, majors, minors, years, clubs, other interests, and other important information he had learned about them. He scrolled down for only a moment, before landing on Blake’s name. He made an additional note under her  _ other _ section. 

_ Traumatic incident. Keep an eye on. Avoidant and resistant to help. _

Drew saved the document, closing it before leaning back in his desk chair and letting out another sigh. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach that it was going to be a  _ long _ year.


	4. Late August: Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Active TWs: None
> 
> Passive TWs: Car accidents, medical trauma

**_4\. Late August: Change_ **

If there was  _ anything _ positive coming out of this entire ordeal, having only one arm now meant that Yang got approved to move back in early. With a little bit of petitioning from the STRRQY family, reslife had also approved Ruby to move in early, so the family could move them both into their dorms on the same day.

By sheer luck, the sisters had been placed in the same building  _ on the same floor _ . Being in the same building wasn’t as shocking to Yang as being on the same floor. Beacon Hall was one of the four major first-year areas on campus, with a mixing of  _ some _ second years, but not a ton. She’d spent her first year, or at least her first and only semester at UV so far living in the North Tower of Beacon Hall. She’d lived in Beacon North 205, with a randomly selected roommate she didn’t know very well, and things had gone reasonably well. Then, of course, the accident happened over winter break that year, and she hadn’t been back since. 

It would be strange, moving into Beacon South. It was a mirror image of Beacon North, even down to the numbers. Beacon South consisted of only even numbered rooms, and Beacon North consisted of only odd numbered rooms. Yang knew was going to take some time getting used to everything being the exact opposite of what she was used to. She wasn't really sure how long it would take her, whether it be a long time, or possibly even no time at all. It had been over a year and a half, but she still really didn’t know what to expect from herself.

The day before the rest of the first-years were scheduled to move in, the STRRQY family loaded up all four cars that the adults of the family owned, and left Patch early in the morning. Yang rode with Raven, while Ruby joined Summer. Tai and Qrow rode alone, but didn’t mind, as they honestly needed the front seats for the extra space. 

They had thought that moving Yang into her dorm two years ago had been a  _ breeze _ , with the four adults and both girls helping. Now, however, with two girls to move, things were much more difficult.

It didn’t help matters that no one would allow Yang to do practically anything at all.

Tai and Qrow were primarily in charge of packing all of Yang’s things, much to Yang’s annoyance. They barely let her lift a finger, even if she  _ did  _ still have one completely functional arm, and  _ five _ completely functional fingers. They would also be in charge of unpacking her things once they got to her room, which she was also not looking forward to. 

Yang had opted to ride with Raven instead of one of her dads. She’d had enough of them already, she wanted some time with Ma before she went back to school. At least, that was the excuse she had used when her fathers questioned why she wanted to ride with Ruby’s belongings instead of her own. In reality, she knew that Raven was the most likely to allow Yang to enjoy the ride from Patch to UV in silence. 

After the roughly hour-long drive from their small town to the suburbs of Vale that housed the University of Vale, the STRRQY family was ready to move in. They stopped at the reslife central office to pick up their keys, as they were early arrivals, and Ruby’s joy that she had expressed when she learned her and Yang would be living on the same floor had resurfaced. 

“We aren’t like, direct neighbors, but we’re neighbors!” Ruby exclaimed as she bounced up the stairs out of the central office.

“122 and 102 aren’t really that close,” Yang replied, staring at the key packet in her hand. “We’re on opposite sides of the floor.”

“Yeah, but it’s close enough!” Ruby pushed open the door, holding it open for Yang to pass through.

“Thank you,” Yang said, leading the way back towards their small fleet of cars that was waiting for them to return with their keys. 

“See you in Beacon Hall, neighbor!” Ruby yelled, suddenly darting towards the cars at what Yang could only describe as an inhuman pace. 

Yang rolled her eyes, giving a small smile. Ruby was always energetic, but today was another  _ level _ . It made sense. Her little sister was finally moving into college - and so was she.

Yang thought she could have been a bit more excited about coming back to school. She certainly was excited to get out of her house, but she was certainly worried about what was to come.

People in Patch had stopped staring some time ago, aside from the kids. But UV was a  _ big _ school. With around 30,000 undergrads, it wasn’t uncommon to run into different people every day. Different people every day meant different sets of eyes. On the other hand, maybe it would finally allow her to desensitize herself to the stares, and help her to move on with her life. Yet again, she wasn’t really sure what to expect.

Yang climbed back into the passenger’s seat in Raven’s car.

“Got your keys?” Raven asked, a smile on her face.

Yang returned the smile, holding up the packet. “Beacon South 122.”

“Excellent,” Raven replied, putting the car into drive and following Summer and Ruby out of the parking lot, Tai and Qrow trailing closely behind. “How are you feeling?”

“Excited. Nervous,” Yang admitted, the thoughts already on her mind.

“That’s expected.” Raven paused for a moment before speaking again. “I know we’ve been a little overprotective for a while, and it’s going to be nice to get some time away-”

“That’s an understatement,” Yang muttered, which Raven ignored.

“-but you and I both know your mother is going to be worried sick these first few weeks. I’m not saying you have to call every day, but reaching out every once in a while would be nice and make her feel better.”

“Only Mom?  _ You  _ won’t be worried?” 

“Okay, okay,” Raven admitted. “We’ll  _ all _ be worried sick. I know you want independence, I know you do, but we-”

“I know, Ma, I know,” Yang replied, cutting her off. “I’ll call every couple of days at least.”

Raven gave a small smile. “Thank you.”

Yang looked out the window, watching as they slowly approached Beacon Hall. “That’s what I did last time I was here, regardless.”

“How often do you think Ruby will call?”

“Every day, without a doubt,” Yang replied instantly. “She’s too much like Mom to not.”

Raven let out a laugh. “You aren’t wrong. She’s more than just the physical splitting image of Summer.”

“I probably won’t call as much as her.”

“That’s fine. I don’t think any of us ever expected that. You’re a very different person than your sister.”

Yang hummed at the statement. It wasn’t wrong, but she didn’t really know what else to say.

“It’s gonna be a good year, Yang. I can feel it,” Raven said quietly as they pulled into the small loading dock next to Beacon South. 

“I sure hope so,” Yang replied before hopping out of the car.

* * *

A few hours later, Yang’s room was entirely settled. As expected, Tai and Qrow didn’t let her do anything, which was still  _ very _ annoying, but at this point, she just wanted to get it over with. On the bright side, they’d arranged and rearranged all her furniture for her without complaint, until the room was  _ exactly _ the way she wanted it, not wanting her to move stuff on her own at a later date. They didn’t hesitate to tease her about how specific she was once they were done, but it was nothing more than lighthearted banter. 

Her furniture arrangement was one of the several positives she had come up with for having a single this year. She could organize her room however she liked. She’d opted for the most floorspace, keeping the dresser in her closet, and using the desk as a TV stand instead of the dresser, which was what most people did. Her bed was low, which was uncommon for dorm rooms, but ideal for her, considering she couldn’t imagine herself getting into a high bed easily, even if it wasn’t fully lofted. 

Once they were done, they wandered down the hall to 102, to find Ruby, Summer, and Raven were all still unpacking Ruby’s stuff, although they were almost done. Yang had packed lighter than Ruby, but then again, her wardrobe was much more limited, and she already knew what she would and would not use in a dorm room. She expected that by next year, Ruby’s belongings would be halved, at the least. 

“Anything we can help with?” Qrow asked, stepping into the open door. 

“Just hanging up some of the last of my clothes!” Ruby exclaimed, handing her Pop a pile of shirts on hangers. He took them, turning around and filing them into the closet.

“Done already?” Summer asked, neatly arranging the school supplies onto Ruby’s desk. 

“Yep,” Yang replied, leaning in the doorway. “Longest part was moving the furniture.”

“Yang’s  _ very _ particular,” Tai said with a large smile, winking at his older daughter. “She had us move everything like twelve times.”

Yang replied with her own smile. “Yeah, well, you aren’t very good at following directions.”

“Neither are you, firecracker,” Qrow added.

“I get it from my dads,” Yang retorted instantly, sending Ruby into a fit of giggles, Summer and Raven trying to hold themselves back from laughing as well. Qrow rolled his eyes, continuing to hang things up in the closet. Tai was attempting to ruffle Yang’s hair, but she kept swatting him away.

Positivity, for once, flowed easily between  _ all _ members of the STRRQY family.

* * *

In the RA lounge, the entire Beacon Hall RA staff sat around in a large circle on various chairs and tables. The 20 RAs were spread around the room, in order by floor and tower, North before South, waiting as Drew passed out rosters to all of them. They were nearing the end of their meeting, getting the remainder of their preparations for the next few days, the  _ busiest _ weekend of the year for any RA or HD: move in weekend.

“The names are formatted very particularly. Bolded names are early arrivals. They are the only ones who should be already here. Italics are first years moving in on Friday. Bold and italic means a first year that moves in early. No formatting means a second year moving in on Saturday or Sunday,” Drew explained as he passed out the rosters, double checking to make sure he was handing the right floors to everyone. 

Some floors already had some early arrivals living in the dorms, although most of early arrivals came today, Thursday. Most of the ones who were already here were for marching band, some sort of job training, or international students, who came early for international orientation. The ones who arrived today were usually medical accommodations, special circumstances with flights coming from out of state, or volunteer movers who would help move students’ belongings from cars to rooms all weekend long. 

Blake hadn’t seen anyone on her floor yet, nor had she received an email at the beginning of the week with any advanced early arrivals, as she had come to call them, so she assumed she wouldn’t have any bolded names on her list as Drew handed it to her.

Blake looked down at her list. Mostly italic names, with a handful of non-formatted mixed in. Two bolded and italic, no regular bolded. 

**_Ruby Rose - 102_ **

**_Yang Xiao Long - 122_ **

“How many early arrivals do you have?” Ilia asked, leaning over towards Blake. 

“Two, one in the single, the other in one of the doubles. Both first years,” Blake replied. 

“I’ve got an early arrival in the single too,” Ilia replied. “Second year, though. No italics.”

“Same,” Sun added from Ilia’s other side. 

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Blake said with a shrug, sliding her roster into her training binder. “Most of the singles are medical accommodations anyways, and a lot of those include early move-in.”

“Strange on the other first year though,” Sun commented. “The marching band already moved in, which is usually where the first years come from.”

“Could be from out-of-state, and had to get a flight today, or a different medical accommodation,” Blake replied with a shrug. Sun hummed, giving a small nod and starting to say something before being cut off by Drew.

“If you’ve got any early arrivals, I encourage you to check in with them tonight after dinner,” Drew said loudly, bringing the chatter around the room about the rosters to a halt. “Tomorrow’s the big day though, so I do recommend you all get to bed early. I got the breakdown earlier of when our students are coming. 10% have moved in for early arrivals, and 60% will come tomorrow. The other 30% will come in over Saturday and Sunday, and based on the numbers I’ve been given from previous years, I’m expecting around 20% Saturday and 10% Sunday. Tomorrow’s all hands on deck. We’ve got about 550 residents moving in tomorrow, but I have full faith in our abilities!” Drew gave a smile, looking around the room.

The RAs let out a series of cheers and excitement. Blake gave a smile, the most she could offer with her current energy levels. Drew spotted her smiling, and his own smile widened. 

“Alright team, let’s break for dinner, and then finish up any last minute preparations you need for tomorrow! And don’t forget to check in with any early arrivals!” Drew exclaimed, releasing the RAs from the lounge.

“Can one of you help me hang up some posters after dinner?” Ilia asked as she followed her friends out of the lounge. “I’ve got a couple more left, but I’m awful with placement.”

“Sure,” Sun replied. 

“I should probably check in on my EAs after dinner,” Blake said. 

Ilia nodded. “That’s a good idea. Let us know if you wanna hang out after.”

“Seconded,” Sun added.

Blake simply nodded, knowing she probably wouldn’t spend the evening with the two of them, and instead began thinking about the names again. 

Ruby Rose. Yang Xiao Long. 

She remembered last year, her first early arrivals. It was a first year girl, here early for marching band. She had been so excited to meet her first resident - only to find out that anyone who came early for marching band basically spent less time in the building than the RAs did in the week leading up to school starting, and that was  _ really _ saying something. 

This year, this year was going to be different. She was determined to make it start out on a positive note, and having a good first interaction with her new residents was going to do exactly that.

* * *

Blake stood outside of room 122, knocking twice on the door. There was no answer. She knocked a second time, rolling on the heels of her feet. Still nothing.

Blake sighed, looking at her phone. It was only 7:20pm, just after dinner had ended for the RAs, and it was entirely possible that Yang Xiao Long was at dinner with family or something. It was easy to forget that the rest of the world didn’t operate on the dining hall schedule, and that for most people, dinner wasn’t limited to between the hours of 4:30pm and 7:15pm. 

She stepped away from the door, heading down the hall to 102. Maybe she’d get luckier with Ruby Rose!

Two more knocks. More silence. A final two knocks. Still silence.

Blake returned to her room, feeling a little defeated. She opened the door to find Gambol sitting right near it.

“Mrrp!” 

“Hello!” Blake exclaimed with a burst of energy she hadn’t known she had, crouching down after closing the door behind her. Gambol ran up, headbutting Blake’s leg and purring. “It’s good to see you too,” she said as she smiled at the purring cat. 

Blake scooped Gambol up, walking over to her bed before placing the cat down. She slid off her bag, putting it on the floor next to her bed. She pulled out her laptop and the roster Drew had given her earlier.

“Well,” she said to Gambol as she sat down, opening up her laptop, “if I can’t talk to my residents right now, I might as well figure out what they look like.”

Gambol purred as Blake mindlessly continued petting her with one hand, typing on her computer with the other. 

The moment that Facebook filled the screen, Blake clicked into the search bar. She looked at her list. The first name on the list was the other inhabitant of 102,  _ Penny Polendina _ . Also a first year, as the italics indicated. 

Blake typed the name into the search bar, but it gave no real results. There was a middle aged woman from Kansas, a literal child in Washington, and a Dr. Penny Polendina from Vacuo. None of which were likely to be the Penny Polendina that was going to reside in Beacon South 102. 

She moved onto the next name in the list, Ruby Rose. This gave instant results. The first profile showed a teenage girl from the town of Patch, a place Blake recognized being roughly an hour or so south of Vale. She clicked it, waiting for a moment while it loaded.

The profile was pretty standard - her education on the side showed that she had graduated Patch High School the previous June, and she would be attending University of Vale this year. The girl’s profile picture showed her smiling with a corgi. Blake noted the red tips in her cropped brown hair, thinking that the look suited the girl. Her cover photo was her at her high school graduation, posing with an orange haired girl in their cap and gowns, diplomas from Patch High School in hand. 

Blake clicked the photo, curious if there was any captions.

_ Ruby Rose : Best friends today, roomies tomorrow! UV, here we come! _

_ Roomies? _ Blake raised an eyebrow at the caption. Perhaps the orange haired girl was Penny Polendina. 

Curious, Blake clicked away from the cover photo, going to Ruby’s photos instead. The tagged photos popped up first, showing what looked like mostly graduation photos. She clicked on another one of the two girls. The photo belonged to a woman named Summer Rose, which Blake only assumed to be a member of Ruby’s family.

_ Summer Rose : Ruby and Penny on the big day! Best friends since kindergarten, roommates in college! _

Blake frowned slightly at the statement. Friends that roomed together were a hit or miss. Either it worked fine, and strengthened their friendship, or it tore them apart. She had seen the latter happen a few times last year, and she  _ really _ hoped that wouldn’t be the case with these two, or anyone else on her floor. 

She clicked out of the photo. The other thumbnails filled the page, mostly pictures of Ruby posing with various people in her cap and gown. Blake scrolled past one of Ruby with a blonde girl with only one arm, noticing, but not bothering to click on it. She did have the rest of the roster to get to, after all.

* * *

After some successes and a few fails, Blake had made her way halfway down the roster. She put little stars next to the people she couldn’t find on Facebook - she’d try those names on Instagram later. She’d finally hit her own name, listed at room 118. The next was the only other early arrival, Yang Xiao Long.

Only two Facebook profiles popped up within the state. The first was Yang Xiao Long, the second was Taiyang Xiao Long, and the second profile picture included both an older man and the same girl from the first profile picture. 

“Interesting family naming scheme,” Blake muttered to Gambol, who was still curled up at her side, purring happily as Blake continued to mindlessly pet her cat.

She clicked on the first profile. There was something familiar about the girl, but she couldn’t quite place it. She hovered for a moment on the profile picture before clicking it. 

The picture was quite old, dated nearly three years ago. It was likely not a social media site she often used. In the photo, Yang Xiao Long was sitting on a rock, smiling at the camera. Her hair flowed perfectly, her makeup was stunning, and her outfit seemed well coordinated. 

Blake’s eyes flicked over to the caption. 

_ Yang Xiao Long : Senior pictures came out awesome! _

Three years ago? Senior pictures? Blake stared at the picture for a moment longer, confused. 

Yang Xiao Long probably took some time off for whatever reason, and was starting school late. It wasn’t common, but it wasn’t unheard of either. 

Blake shrugged, clicking out of the photo. The cover photo was equally old, but instead of including people, was a picture of a gorgeous beach, with a small corgi running along the ocean.

That dog  _ also _ looked familiar to Blake, but she couldn’t quite place it. There wasn’t a caption or comments, so she decided to move onto the tagged photos, to see if she could figure out how she knew this girl. 

The first tagged photo was of a high school graduation, but Yang wasn’t in a cap and gown. A girl with a brown bob with red tips was…  _ oh _ . 

Blake clicked on the photo. 

_ Summer Rose : Ruby and Yang! Look at those smiles, Yang is so proud of her little sister. _

Blake’s eyes looked back at the picture.

Yang Xiao Long had her left arm wrapped around her sister’s shoulders, a massive smile on her face. Her right arm, however, ended at a stump just above where her elbow should be. 

Suddenly, everything made sense. 

Yang Xiao Long had lost her arm between her senior year of high school and now. It had caused her to start school late - interestingly enough, in the same year as her younger sister, who also happened to live on the same floor. Step sisters, perhaps, judging by the last names, but Blake wasn’t sure. Regardless, it was why both of them had moved in early together - they came from the same family, and reslife tended to be nice about those things. 

Blake continued clicking through the tagged photos, curious. Most of the photos were of family, from Summer Rose, Taiyang Xiao Long, or Ruby Rose, and two black haired adults who didn’t have accounts, but Blake figured were related to them somehow. From Summer’s captions, Blake assumed the woman’s name was Rae, and the man’s name Qrow. The photos all centered events that weren’t Yang’s - Ruby Rose’s graduation, Ruby Rose’s prom, Christmas, Taiyang Xiao Long’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Ruby Rose’s Birthday, Summer Rose’s birthday… 

It wasn’t until Blake hit a photo of Yang Xiao Long at her own birthday party from a year ago with a large white bandage still on the ending of her right arm that Blake realized she had gone in  _ way _ too deep. Looking at photos of residents for identification purposes wasn’t weird - going  _ this  _ far into their personal history certainly was. 

Quickly, she clicked out of the photos and Yang Xiao Long’s profile. She needed to move on to the rest of the roster, and respect the privacy of Yang Xiao Long and other residents by not going  _ that _ deep into photos like that again. 

Blake wasn’t exactly sure what had caused her to do that. She was usually pretty good about not deep-diving into people’s social media that didn’t know her yet. It was a privacy and respect thing, although some people had told Blake it was fine, photos that were available were on social media for a reason. Still, it felt wrong to Blake, like she was getting to know someone without them getting to know her.

There was something about Yang Xiao Long though,  _ something _ that made Blake want to find out more without a second thought.


	5. Late August: Seed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Active TWs: None
> 
> Passive TWs: None

**_Part 2: Fall_ **

**_5\. Late August: Seed_ **

For Blake, the only words that could be used to describe Friday were  _ organized chaos _ . 

There weren’t any hitches or misplaced keys, there weren’t any people coming in on the wrong day, and there weren’t any real issues, much to the relief of the entire Beacon RA Staff. Yet, the flow of students checking in had been non-stop the entire day, from 7am to 5pm. Every single RA worked the entire time, with the exception of an hour long lunch break that was staggered across the late morning and early afternoon to ensure they had enough staff, while still giving everyone their fair break. 

By the time 5pm rolled around, and things had  _ finally _ begun to slow down, Drew dismissed everyone for dinner before they would have to round up their first years and bring them to the convocation ceremony. 

Convocation, a concept foreign to Blake until she had gotten to UV, was like the opposite of graduation. The entire first year class, across all of the different colleges and schools the University of Vale had to offer, would get together for a ceremony celebrating the beginning of their college careers. It was truly the only time the entire class ever got together. Graduation was based on college, so the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences had a separate graduation ceremony from the School of Engineering, both of which had a separate ceremony from the School of Fine Arts, and so on. 

RAs were required to go to convocation, regardless of whether or not they had first years. Those with first years would have to lead as many of them as they could gather to go to the ceremony. Most were pretty successful in doing so - it offered an activity for the evening to get to know the fellow floor members better. There would be a floor meeting right before they would head out, allowing for everyone to at least introduce themselves before going off to the massive ceremony. 

Holding floor meetings was relatively easy for the RAs of Beacon Hall. The study lounges located on each floor weren’t huge, and they probably broke a couple fire codes whenever more than three-fourths of the floor showed up, but each floor having its own lounge was  _ very _ nice. It meant that there was no fighting for lounge space when it was time to have meetings, like it tended to be in other areas of campus.

Blake had hurried back to the dorm from the dining hall (which now she had options for and no longer had to go to a specific one, like she had during RA training, much to her relief) as soon as she had finished eating. Sun and Ilia hadn’t quite finished yet, but she promised she’d find them at convocation as soon as she got her first years settled. 

She’d spent a small amount of time in her room, stopping to pet Gambol for a few minutes, and drop off her bag. She changed part of her outfit - the khaki shorts she had been required to wear for check in were  _ not  _ staying for the rest of the night. The reslife t-shirt she wore, however, would have to stay. It had a giant RA on the back, making it easy for the first years to identify that she was an upperclassman, and should at least have  _ some _ knowledge about what was going on, even if she couldn’t answer some random questions that they had. She swapped the shorts for a pair of black skinny jeans, knowing it would likely get a little chilly at convocation. Once she felt comfortable again in something than those awful shorts, she gave Gambol a kiss on the head, right in between the ears, and headed out to sit in the lounge. 

There was still some time before the meeting was scheduled to start - at least a half hour. She took the time to go over the roster she had added to her phone, this one including a list of specifically all the first years. She organized it by room number, but didn’t keep any of the formatting that Drew had used to distinguish early arrivals. Early arrivals didn’t matter any more, as the school year was officially underway.

Blake sat on one of the tables, kicking her legs as she read the list over and over. If there was anything she had been excited for all of training, it was to meet her residents. She’d been reserving her emotional energy for the last few days for this moment - she knew this meeting and convocation would take a lot out of her, but she didn’t want these kids to start off their year with their depressed RA seeming miserable and uninterested.

Well, she  _ was _ miserable. That was for sure. But there was no reason, in Blake’s mind, that she should pass that attitude on to her residents, who had just finished moving in and were  _ so _ excited to finally be at the University of Vale. 

That’s why, while she was still scrolling through the roster and kicking her legs on the edge of the table, she was taken aback when she heard the voices in the hallway.

* * *

“ _ Yaaaaang! _ Come on, it’ll be  _ fun! _ ” Ruby whined, standing in Yang’s doorway. 

“I’ll pass,” Yang replied, scrolling through her phone while she sat cross legged on her bed. “I’ve been before. It’s not that interesting.”

“ _ Yaaang _ !” Ruby whined again, a bit softer this time. “You can’t just hole yourself up in your room.”

“I  _ won’t _ ,” Yang snapped, tossing her phone onto her bed. “It’s literally just opening weekend. I’ve been to convocation before. I’ll pass on going again. You go and have fun with Penny, don’t worry about me.”

Ruby was quiet, standing in the doorway. “Please?” 

Yang shook her head. “I’m not interested.” She stood up, heading towards the door. “Go have fun with Penny, I’ll see you later tonight.”

“But-” 

The door closed in Ruby’s face, as she was pushed back slightly, into the hallway and out of Yang’s room.

“-I wanted to have fun with both Penny and  _ you _ …” she whispered, staring at the closed door. She stared at the door decoration, an ice cream cone with the word “Yang” written on the scoop in neat handwriting. Ruby sighed, dropping her shoulders, and slowly turning around. 

* * *

Blake was standing a few feet inside of the study lounge. She was heading to see if she could talk to Yang too, maybe convince her to come, but she had stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the door close and Ruby go quiet. 

Blake paused, listening to Ruby sigh and shuffle just outside of the door. The study lounge was located directly between the only two singles on the floor, making it  _ technically _ room 120, although almost no one referred to it that way. She had heard  _ everything _ from the lounge, and knew that if she was going to do something, she should do it now.

Ruby was slightly startled when Blake stepped out of the lounge and into the hallway. 

“Hi,” Blake offered with a smile. “My name’s Blake. I’m your RA.”

Ruby glanced between Blake and Blake’s door, which was only a few feet away. Blake’s door was covered in door decs, which was typical. RAs usually made enough door decs for every resident on their floor, plus an additional one for each RA, to keep their doors covered in fun art, and distinguish their doors further as RA doors. There was also a rather nicely made “About Me” poster that was directly next to the door, which Ruby had already read when she had explored the floor yesterday afternoon.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, a smile spreading across her face. “It’s nice to meet you! I’m Ruby, I live in 102!” 

“It’s nice to meet you too. Is everything okay?”

Ruby’s face fell slightly. “I… I was hoping I could convince my sister to come to convocation, but I don’t think she’s going to.”

“Your sister?” Blake asked, deciding that pretending that she  _ hadn’t _ researched their family was the best idea.

“Yang is my sister,” Ruby said, pointing at room 122. 

“Ohhh.” She looked back and forth between Ruby and Yang’s door a few times. Half of her brain told her to leave it, but the other half told her to go knock on Yang’s door. She had to make a choice, here and now, and stick with it. She hummed, thinking. 

“Why don’t you head back to your room for now? I’ll see you at the meeting in a bit, and with some luck, maybe she’ll be there too,” Blake replied, jerking her head in the direction of Yang’s door.

A wide smile spread across Ruby’s face as she nodded quickly. “Good luck! See you later, Blake!” she exclaimed before zipping off down the hall and around the corner.

Blake returned with a small smile towards the empty space that Ruby had left behind. With a sharp intake of air, she turned around, taking steps towards Yang’s door. 

Her stomach was doing flips.  _ Why _ was she doing this, exactly? People skipped convocation every year. This was nothing new. 

And yet, here she was, knocking on Yang’s door.

_ Knock knock _ . 

“Ruby, I told you I’m not coming,” Yang called out.

_ Knock knock _ . 

Blake knocked again. She was hoping that Yang would just come to the door, struggling to find the words.

“Go away Ruby.”

“I’m… it’s not Ruby,” Blake replied, stumbling over her words. 

“ _ Oh _ ,” Yang replied softly. “Just a moment.”

Blake took a step back, rocking on her heels.  _ Just introduce yourself as her RA. Let the conversation flow from there. _

Why was she so damn nerv-

The door swung open. 

Blake blinked. Yang was  _ tall _ , taller than she had expected. Her golden hair flowed perfectly, resting gently on her shoulders. Her lilac eyes avoided making eye contact with Blake, her cheeks slightly red. The pictures of her on Facebook didn’t do her justice.

Wait, why did she just think th-?

“Sorry about that,” Yang said softly, rubbing her upper right arm with her left hand. “I thought you were my sister.”

“It’s okay,” Blake replied with a smile and a nod, trying to collect herself. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Blake, your RA. I’m just going around and introducing myself to everyone who I didn’t get to check in today.”

Yang returned the smile, eyes finally looking up. “Oh, you’re Blake! I saw your name on the door down there. We’re neighbors!” 

Blake gave another nod. “I suppose so, although the lounge is in the middle.”

Yang shrugged. “If no one lives there, that makes my neighbor the one who lives on the other side.” She paused for a moment. “Oh, I never introduced myself. I’m Yang.” She held out her left hand for a handshake.

Blake returned with her own left hand, but realized that she had never actually given a handshake with her left hand before. It was a little awkward and clumsy. 

“Don’t worry about the handshake, most people can’t do a good handshake with their left hand. I’m not offended,” Yang replied, moving her stump back and forth a bit to emphasize a point. 

Blake blinked. She honestly had completely forgotten that Yang only had one arm. How, exactly, she wasn’t sure, considering she’d been staring right at the girl, but it just hadn’t registered. 

After a moment, she smiled back at Yang again. “Well, I did want to personally invite you to come to convocation tonight.”

Yang raised an eyebrow. “Did Ruby put you up to this?”

Blake shook her head. “No, I came by because I invited everyone else when they checked in. Since you were an early arrival, I didn’t get a chance until now. You  _ should _ come though. It’ll be fun.”

“I went last time,” Yang replied with a shrug. “Wasn’t that great.”

“Last time?”

Yang wiggled her stump again. “I completed one semester here two years ago, and then I had to take a few off to deal with this. Now I’m back, and I don’t really need to do all of the first semester stuff again.”

“Ah, well, they  _ have _ changed some stuff since two years ago. That was my first year too. I went again last year, being an RA, and I heard they’ve got a free ten ton ice cream sundae this year…” Blake trailed off, smirking slightly at Yang, hoping the ice cream could get her to go.

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem worth it.”

“At the end of the day, it  _ is _ your choice, but I think you should give it a shot. If you decide to go, we have a floor meeting in the lounge in…” Blake glanced at her phone before continuing. “...fifteen minutes or so. We’ll be heading down afterwards. Plus, once you go, you can always leave if you don’t want to stay beyond the free shirt and ice cream, or at any point, really.”

“I’ll think about it,” Yang replied, giving a small nod. “It was nice to meet you.”

“You too!” Blake said with a wide smile, before turning back towards the lounge. As soon as she heard the sound of the door close behind her, she dropped her shoulders with a silent sigh. 

She returned to the lounge, taking her seat back on the table. She picked back up her phone, scrolling through her roster again. This time, however, she was unable to get any further than halfway down the list.

_ Yang Xiao Long _ .

* * *

Over the next fifteen minutes, first years began to trickle into the lounge. They had spent the afternoon settling in after moving in, and some of them had already seemed to try and form small groups and get to know each other. Blake handed everyone a name tag once they came in, which they filled out with some markers she kept in a small cup on the table next to her while she checked them off of her roster. She greeted everyone, doing her best to remain positive as she reintroduced herself to everyone. 

She kept an eye on the door, keeping an eye out for any flashes of yellow. There were two blonde boys that came in and left her feeling disappointed, but she hoped that she would have been successful today. 

Blake looked down at her phone. 6:00pm. Her eyes looked back up at the door. Nothing. She checked her roster. All of the first years were here, except for one. 

Her shoulders dropped for just a moment, but she brought them back up, a smile plastering itself onto her face. This was a good attendance sheet. She should be  _ happy _ that she was only missing one person.

Besides, Yang wasn’t  _ really _ a first year, only a freshman by credits, so in  _ theory _ , Blake had 100% attendance. 

But why wouldn’t the knot in her stomach go away?

* * *

At 6:05, as everyone was going in a circle, introducing themselves to everyone else on the floor, Blake noticed someone slip into the room out of the corner of her eye. She turned, and saw Yang leaning against the wall near the door, her left arm tucked across her chest. Blake gave a small smile, before handing a blank name tag and pen to the girl to her right, whispering to tell her to pass it down to the blonde girl standing against the wall.

Blake spotted Ruby on the other end of the room, not even trying to hide the massive smile on her face at the sight of her sister showing up. She locked eyes with Blake for a moment, and her smile grew even wider. Blake returned with her own small smile, before finally returning her attention to the group introductions that were still ongoing.

It was a strange sensation building in Blake’s chest. Pride, perhaps? It felt silly, to be proud of Yang for coming… but she still felt that way.

* * *

A solid thirty minutes later, and the floor was heading out to convocation, led by Blake at the front of the group. Almost all of her first years were interacting and laying the groundwork for budding friendships… except for one.

Yang walked closer to the front of the pack, but didn’t really interact with anyone. She kept her left hand shoved in her pants pocket, hunched over, as if she were trying to hide. Blake felt a twinge of regret as she glanced over her shoulder. She clearly wasn’t comfortable, and Blake was the one who had convinced her to go. 

Still, she felt like she could be doing better, she  _ should _ be doing better.

* * *

The group slowed to a crawl outside of the arch entrance to the large lawn behind the Student Union where convocation always took place. A large square stage sat in the middle of the lawn, surrounded by a massive crowd of students on every side. Three arches stood around the outside of the lawn, strategically placed to split the population of on-campus students into three groups, based on the location of their dorms.

Located at each arch were massive tables where volunteers handed out small, battery powered fake candles and t-shirts. Students were grabbing one of each as they headed through the small archways, leading to the traffic jam Blake found herself faced with.

As they got closer to the crowd, the group of students from Beacon South 1 got closer together. Yang was still towards the front of the group, looking around nervously. Her hand was no longer tucked into her pocket, but instead rubbing her upper right arm.

Blake frowned. She took a few steps towards Yang, weaving her way through a few other students. 

“Hey,” Blake asked softly, as soon as Yang was within earshot. “You okay?”

Yang nodded. “Yeah. It’s just been a while since I’ve been around this many people.”

Blake responded with a small nod of her own, and a gentle smile. “I get that. Usually having someone to talk to makes it a bit easier to not get wrapped up in the numbers.”

“Yeah, it does.” Yang gave a small smile back. “I’m sorry about earlier, by the way.”

“For what?”

“Thinking you were my sister and telling you to go away.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s totally fine. I’ve had  _ way _ worse as an RA.”

Yang tilted her head slightly. “Really? Like what?”

“One time, last year, I had a guy try to recite the constitution at me when I shut down his party,” Blake answered with a fond chuckle. “I say  _ try _ because he was failing miserably. He was way too drunk for that.”

Yang laughed. “Oh, that’s funny. What was he trying to do, exactly?”

“Get me to come back with a warrant, I  _ think _ . But we aren’t the cops, and residence halls don’t work like that,” Blake replied, shaking her head. “So yeah, trust me, you’re more than fine.”

“Do you think we could start over then? With like, a proper introduction?”

Blake smiled. “Yes, of course.”

Unfortunately, their conversation was cut short by the volunteers asking for their shirt sizes and practically forcing the fake candles into their hands to keep the crowd moving smoothly. Blake had to resume her RA duties for a minute, gathering up all of her first years and making sure they were sitting together on the lawn, waiting for the ceremony to start. 

Once everyone was settled in, chatting, Blake found Yang again, sitting on the outskirts of the circle, alone. Blake plopped down next to her, a small smile on her face. 

“Hi, I’m Blake. What’s your name?”

Yang returned the smile with a small laugh. “I’m Yang. It’s nice to meet you!” 

“What are you majoring in?” Blake asked, dropping the classic college getting-to-know-you question. 

“Undecided,” Yang replied with a small shrug. “I’ve changed my mind like, a million times. You’d think with all that time away from school, I’d have a chance to figure something out, but nope, I only ended up  _ more _ confused than my first semester here. All I know is that whatever I end up doing, I want to help people.”

“That’s very noble. Probably more noble than I’ll ever be.”

Yang raised an eyebrow. “What’s your major?”

“I’m an English major, with a creative writing concentration.”

“So you’re an author then!” 

Blake nodded. “I try my best. It’s been a while since I’ve put out anything I’m really proud of, but the classes keep me writing consistently, at least.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. Do you know how many people turn to fiction as a way to escape whatever is going on in their lives? Books help people all the time, and authors are just as important as the people who help others professionally,” Yang said.

Blake simply looked at Yang for a few moments. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“We all help people, just in different ways. Besides, you’re already an RA. That’s like, one of the classic jobs that everyone knows is all about helping other people.”

Blake laughed. “You should try telling that to some of the residents when we do rounds. I’ve been called both a glorified hall monitor  _ and _ a mall cop by the  _ same person one _ night.”

Yang returned with her own laugh. “The way you put it, you make it sound like all you do is deal with drunk freshmen.”

“That’s like, half the job in Beacon Hall,” Blake replied, shaking her head. “We do get to do a lot of interpersonal stuff, for sure, but usually I can’t tell stories about those because they’re on the more confidential side.”

“Makes sense. How long have you been an RA for?”

“This is my second year, but I’ve worked the past two summers too. I started right at the end of my freshman year.”

“You’re a junior then?” Yang asked.

Blake nodded.

“So we came to UV in the same class then! Where did you live your first year? Maybe I ran into you once or twice.”

“Menagerie Quad,” Blake answered. “What about you?”

“Oh, I lived in Beacon North,” Yang replied with a frown. “We probably didn’t then.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really interact a lot with other freshmen my first year anyway.” 

Suddenly, their attention was pulled away from the conversation as someone began to do a mic check on the large square stage in the center of the lawn. The ceremony was about to begin.

“Thanks for convincing me to come, by the way,” Yang said quickly, before the MC fully began convocation. “I think I would have just been lonely in my room by myself.”

Blake smiled. “No problem. I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Me too.”

And with that, the MC began to welcome everyone to convocation, and the two girls fell quiet as it began.


	6. September: Roots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Active TWs: Ableism, Faunus Racism, Briefly Implied Suicidal Ideation
> 
> Passive TWs: PTSD, Depression

**_6\. September: Roots_ **

The moment the professor dismissed the class, Yang was out of her chair and making a beeline for the door. She hadn't even slung her messenger bag fully across her body by the time she made it into the hall. 

She turned the corner, headed down the front steps of the building. It was later in the day, early evening, and she had finally gotten out of her last class of the day. People were milling about, leaving classes, going to clubs or work, or heading back home. She stepped off to the side, standing next to the staircase so she could get herself situated before making her walk back to Beacon Hall.

With careful skill, she pulled her phone out of her left pants pocket. Her earbuds were wrapped around the top half of the phone, plugged in, with the buds loosely placed at the front. With a careful grip, she used her thumb to flick off the earbuds, and then spun the phone in her hand repeatedly until the earbuds were no longer wrapped around the top. She slipped the phone back into her pocket, grabbing the loose earbuds and putting them into her ears. 

Once they were secured in her ears, Yang pulled her phone back out of her pocket and began to walk. She opened up Spotify, scrolling for a moment before clicking on her  _ Yangst _ playlist. The title always made her feel at least a little bit better, since it was a dumb pun she had came up with when she was 15. Over the years, her reasons for listening to this playlist had changed, and plenty of new songs had been added, but one thing remained the same: when she listened to it, she was having a  _ bad _ day. 

Yang hit shuffle and the first song popped up. 

_ Hey Asshole - Watsky _

She flicked the album cover away. Good angst song, but more for a depressed angst, not an anger angst. The next song popped up. 

_ Talking to Myself - Watsky _

Two Watsky songs in a row? Still, she'd take it. This was  _ exactly _ what she was looking for. She pressed the repeat button twice, slid her phone back into her pocket, and began to walk.

* * *

_ One day you opened up your eyes inside of you _

_ Inside a world inside a universe you didn't get to choose _

_ You didn't get to pick the rules or pick the past or set the pace _

_ Or cast the cast and crew you didn't get to pick your starting place _

_ And though it was a race you didn't understand _

_ You simply lined up on the blocks and when the pistol popped you ran _

_ And when you tripped and dropped you picked yourself up off the ground _

_ And picked your scabs you knew you had to pick a plan to end what you began _

* * *

As she walked, she could  _ feel _ them. All of them.

The eyes, the stares. It had been  _ nonstop _ all week. And she was  _ so _ fucking sick of it. 

* * *

_ As you got older there were days of cold surrender _

_ Days of shrugged whatevers folded in with days of shocking splendor _

_ But as time advanced the lovely days were covered up from view _

_ By an advancing melancholy haze that hovered near the dew _

_ Yet there were moments _

_ There were these pure arresting moments when you stepped outside your head _

_ Outside your pain outside control, outside the bullshit, out of body, out of rage _

_ Outside the need to get it, get it, you will never get it, that's okay _

* * *

The song had looped twice by the time she made it back to Beacon Hall. She tapped into the lobby, using the fob attached to the bracelet on her wrist. That was one of the perks of the aftermath of the accident, getting a special fob from the disabilities center and not having to swipe in everywhere anymore, since she couldn’t really pull her card out of anything with only one hand.

It’s the little things, she would often have to remind herself. The little positives out of all of this that she  _ had _ to latch onto. If she didn’t, she wasn’t sure she could convince herself that going through everything every day was actually worth it.

* * *

_ Have you felt a little off today _

_ Had a lot to say _

_ But wound up talking to yourself? _

_ Have you hunted for a kindly ear _

_ But couldn't find one near _

_ And wound up talking to yourself? _

* * *

Yang stepped off the Beacon South elevator on the first floor. She had to consciously remind herself to turn right instead of left, her old autopilot from her semester in Beacon North still alive and well, much to her annoyance. 

Every floor in Beacon Hall was a square. Beacon North only had odd numbered rooms, while Beacon South had even numbered rooms. In Beacon South, the room numbers started in the Northwest corner with room 102. Then, as the rooms continued down the Northern hallway to the East, their numbers went up in increments of 2, going to 104, then 106, and so on. In the middle of the Northern hallway, between rooms 106 and 108, was one of two staircases in the tower. 

The Northern hallway ended at 112, and the Eastern hallway began at 114. The Eastern hallway had both of the singles on the floor, 118 and 122 and the study lounge, 120, the only non-double occupancy rooms along the outer square. The Eastern hallway ended with 126, and the Southern hallway had room numbers 128 through 138, with the other staircase in the tower located between rooms 132 and 134. The Western Hallway had room numbers 140 through 152, with room 146 being the floor’s trash closet. 

The center of the tower had elevators that opened up to the Northern hallway, and custodial closets open to the Southern hallway. These structures served as a halfway point for the rooms located in the center of the tower, completely detached from the ring of rooms on the outer side of the hallway. On the Eastern half of the center was the women’s restroom, with doors opening to the Northern and Southern hallways. The Western half was a mirror image, but had the men’s restroom instead. The two towers of Beacon Hall were connected in the lobby with two sets of elevators that faced each other, making them a mirror image of each other. In Beacon South, the elevators opened to the Northern hallway, as the elevators faced Beacon North, and vice versa. 

When Yang had lived in Beacon North, she had lived in room 137, which was exactly where room 138 was in Beacon South. She would take a left turn out of the elevator, and then turn down the hallway until she reached the back corner. When autopilot had taken over, it wasn’t until she read the name tags on the door of 138 that she remembered that she didn’t live in that room anymore. 

Despite her best efforts, it had been a full week since she had moved into her dorm, and this was her first time that she hadn’t accidentally let autopilot take over.

She turned the corner, heading down her hall. She was staring at the ground as she walked, lost deep in thought about how the towers were designed, when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. 

She took a step back, pulling her earbuds out of her ears and blinking as she mentally confirmed what she had just seen.

A light grey baby gate… In the doorway of a dorm room?

Yang looked up to see Blake sitting in the middle of the floor in her room, holding out a cat toy on a stick as a rather small black cat fought the ball on the other end. 

“Hello!” Blake exclaimed with a smile, giving a little wave with her free hand. 

“Hi…” Yang hesitated, still processing the image. “You have a cat?”

Blake nodded. “This is Gambol. Would you like to meet her? She’s a sweetheart.”

“Sure.” Yang shoved her earbuds into her pocket as best she could, before stepping carefully over the baby gate. “I didn’t realize you had a cat.”

Blake nodded. “She’s my ESA.”

“ESA?” Yang asked as she crouched down next to Blake and Gambol, who was still very enthralled by the ball attached to the stick in Blake’s hand. 

“Emotional Support Animal,” Blake responded, shaking her head. “Sorry, I forget that not everyone speaks in university bureaucracy acronyms. Reslife kinda drills that stuff into your brain.”

Yang smiled at Gambol, who had finally noticed the new person in the room. Gambol got up, and trotted the few cat steps over to Yang, who held out her left hand for investigation. After a few moments of sniffing, Gambol decided that Yang was trustworthy, and ran her head along her hand, demanding head scratches.

“She’s so friendly!” Yang commented, her smile spreading wider as Gambol began to purr.

“She does a great job at bringing up people’s moods. She kind of nailed the whole ESA gig.”

“What exactly is an Emotional Support Animal?” Yang asked.

“It’s a classification for disability accommodations,” Blake explained. “She helps me a lot with my mental illnesses.”

“Kind of like a service animal?”

Blake hesitated for a moment. “Yes and no. Yes, because they cannot deny me her as an accommodation, but also no, because she isn’t a service animal. Service animals perform specific tasks for their handlers, are allowed out in public, and are specially trained to perform those tasks. Denying someone service at a business or public location because of a service animal is illegal, but ESAs have different protections. The only protection I have with her is in housing. I can’t just take her out with me to class or something, but she’s allowed to stay in my dorm with me. Does that make sense?”

Yang nodded slowly. “I think so. Do you have like, special paperwork that makes her an ESA or something?”

“Again, yes and no. I have a letter from my therapist saying that she’s an accommodation for my mental illnesses, and acts as my ESA, but that doesn’t necessarily like, register her as an ESA in some sort of registry. Well, okay, it’s a bit more complicated than that.” Blake tilted her head from side to side, trying to find the words. “The Student Disabilities Center has that paperwork, so that they have it for their records on who has an approved ESA on campus so reslife knows who is allowed to have animals, which is  _ sort _ of like a registry, technically. Only technically though. Outside of colleges, there isn’t some like, master registry or something. When I leave, a landlord can’t deny me housing because I have her, but honestly, it’d just be easier to find a pet friendly apartment regardless.”

Yang nodded with more confidence this time. “Okay, that makes sense.” Gambol pushed her forehead against Yang’s hand, demanding more attention as she continued to purr. “She’s so cute, oh my  _ god _ .”

Blake smiled widely, pride beaming from inside of her. “She’s an angel. She’s definitely taking a liking to you. She doesn’t even  _ care _ about the toy anymore,” she said with a small laugh.

“I’ve been told I’m really good with animals,” Yang replied, giving Gambol some chin scratches.

“I wouldn’t argue that.” Blake smiled, looking down at the purring Gambol for a moment, then back up at Yang. “How’s your first week back going?”

Yang’s face fell instantly, her petting getting slower. “Not super great, if I’m being honest.”

Blake frowned. “Do you want to talk about it? Or even just vent for a bit?”

Yang thought for a moment before giving a nod. “Do you mind if I close the door though? I don’t want to risk Ruby hearing me… complaining, and telling our parents or getting worried or something.

“Sure,” Blake said, standing up and putting the cat toy away. 

Yang also stood, carefully removing the baby gate while doing her best to make sure the door didn’t slam shut. After quickly shoving the baby gate between her legs, she managed to gently shut the door with her left hand.

“You can just put the gate against the wall behind the door,” Blake told her, sitting cross legged on her futon. Gambol had followed, jumping up in front of Blake, but keeping an eye on Yang at the door.

Once Yang placed the gate against the wall, she dropped her messenger bag onto the ground next to the futon and sat on the other side of Gambol. She leaned against the wall, facing Blake, and crossed her legs in front of her. As soon as she was settled, Gambol climbed into her lap, headbutting Yang’s stump. 

Yang gave a small laugh at that. “Sorry Gambol, I can’t use that one.” She continued the petting session with her left hand.

“So what’s happened this week?” Blake asked once Gambol was back to purring away.

“I…,” Yang paused for a moment, trying to find the words. “I’m just really, really sick of the stares. It’s nonstop. I mean hell, it’s Thursday. I’ve had all of my classes at least twice by now, and literally  _ everyone _ stares at me at any given opportunity. I’m walking in? Staring. I’m leaving? Staring. I answer a question? Staring. I sit in front of anyone? I can feel them staring, and sometimes I can see it in the reflection of my laptop screen, before I turn it on. It’s  _ exhausting _ .”

“I’m sorry that’s happening,” Blake replied, frowning again. “People should know better by this point in their lives.”

Yang simply shrugged. “I just…” she shook her head, taking a deep breath. “I thought I would just be able to put on a brave face and deal with it, but now I’m practically running out the door from every class, because I don’t want to be there, and then just hiding away in my room until it’s time for my next class.”

“Do you have any friends who are still here from your first semester?”

Yang shook her head. “No, not really. I think there’s like, one girl who's still here, but we weren’t even that close. Just someone who used to live on my floor who I hung out with a few times at the beginning of the semester, but not really much beyond like, the first four weeks.”

“Have you tried talking to anyone on the floor this year, or leaving your door open?”

“No, by the time I get back here I’m too exhausted to really try making new friends. Physically too, not just socially. This thing is  _ draining _ ,” Yang said, moving her stump for emphasis.

Blake tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“Twenty-four hours a day, my brain and body are trying to figure out why it isn’t there anymore,” Yang explained, slumping her shoulders. “It swells and shrinks, I get phantom pains and sensations at  _ least _ once a day, more often when I’m stressed, and well, it hasn’t exactly been a relaxing first week. I nap and eat a  _ lot _ more than I used to because my body needs a lot more energy to just  _ exist _ .”

“I didn’t know amputated limbs did all of that.” 

“It’s a huge process just to live. It can be better or worse with a prosthetic, although that varies wildly based on a lot of factors. For me, it’d be a lot more difficult with little…,” Yang hesitated, choosing her next words carefully. “I don’t want to say benefit, because I know I  _ would _ benefit from one in some way, but the technology just isn’t where I feel like the positives outweigh the negatives, I guess? Well, it exists, but it’s way too expensive, and my insurance won’t cover the cyber prosthetics, only the mechanical models.”

Blake simply nodded. “That makes total sense. If it’s exhausting enough as it is, and you don’t feel like it’s worth it, then that’s your choice to make.”

Yang ran her hand along the length of Gambol’s body, who seemed blissfully unaware of the serious nature of the topic at hand. “Yeah. Besides, the exhaustion or the lack of a hand isn’t the thing that bothers me the most right now… It’s the stares. It’s not exactly like a prosthetic is going to stop that from happening.”

Blake nodded again, thinking for a moment. “I can’t pretend to be an expert on amputation, but I do know a thing or two about uncomfortable stares.”

A puzzled look came across Yang’s face. “Why would people stare at you?”

Blake simply raised her eyebrows and wiggled her top set of ears. 

“Oh, right…” Yang replied quietly, a small blush rising on her cheeks. “Sorry, I honestly kind of forgot a lot of people aren’t used to seeing Faunus every day.”

“Yeah, it’s a culture shock for a lot of people, with how many Faunus we have here at UV.” Blake shook her head with a sigh. “It’s always worse the first few weeks too, because there’s a whole bunch of new freshmen who haven’t really settled in and gotten used to actually being around a diverse population of people yet.”

“How do you deal with it? The stares?”

“Honestly? I’ve never been very good at it,” Blake admitted. “My freshman year, I tried to hide my ears with a bow for a little while, but that only lasted a couple of weeks, and got me a worse reaction than just… leaving them be. I used to just kind of glare or scowl at people when I caught them staring, which  _ did _ work, but I don’t think it’s the best way to go about it anymore.”

“Yeah, I’ve tried the glaring but I can’t make myself do it consistently. I end up just trying to pretend I didn’t notice them staring.”

“I’ve been trying something new this year though,” Blake said with a nod. “I’ve been trying to still let people know I’ve caught them and they shouldn’t be doing that, but not by glaring. Instead, I try to smile and wave.” 

Yang tilted her head. “Smile and wave?”

Blake smirked. “It works really well. People get flustered, because they realize they’ve been caught staring, and they shouldn’t be doing that. They either smile back and then look away, or just get really embarrassed and look away. Plus, I’m just trying to be… more approachable this year overall.”

“Hmmm,” Yang hummed, thinking for a moment. “I kind of like that. I might give it a shot.”

“You’ll have to tell me how it goes!”

“For ssssure,” Yang yawned. She blinked a few times, shaking her head. “I think that’s my body telling me it’s time for a nap.”

Blake simply nodded and smiled again. “I hope Gambol and I were able to help at all!”

Yang looked down at Gambol, who was still curled up in her lap. Gently, she began to push Gambol off with her hand. “Both of you definitely did. Venting to someone who actually  _ listens _ is a very nice change of pace.”

“Well, anytime you’re having a bad day, you can always come by for some venting and cat time.” Blake scooped up Gambol, who was resisting leaving Yang’s lap, but allowed Blake to hold her in her arms instead. “Or even if it’s just an okay day, and you want to make it better! Gambol has magic powers, I  _ swear _ .”

Yang laughed as she got up and grabbed her bag off of the ground. “I might just take you up on that offer. Thanks again!” 

“Anytime,” Blake said with a smile as she watched Yang walk out of the room, and close the door behind her.

Blake looked down at Gambol in her arms. “You’re doing such an excellent job,” she cooed, giving Gambol a small kiss on her forehead. Gambol let a small meow, nuzzling Blake’s face. 

“I know, I know,” Blake laughed, nuzzling Gambol back. “You just want constant affection. I can’t say I blame you.”

She looked back up at the closed door, taking a deep breath. “I hope you like Yang, Gambol, because I have a feeling she’ll be back.”


End file.
